Dear Natasha
by Alisme
Summary: After the battle in Sokovia he wasn't sure what made him leave. He knew he could just blame it on the Other Guy, but that didn't explain what he was doing still hiding out on this island.- Not what it looks like! Disclaimer- I own nothing!
1. Chapter 1

Dear Natasha,

The postcards always started the same. He wasn't a man of particular inventiveness when it came things outside of his lab. He buried his head in his hands running his fingers though his curls. He hadn't cut his hair in months and while at first he had found it a bit annoying it was now long enough to tie some of it back in a low pony-tail. It always seemed to be greasy and on the verge of becoming dreads of late. Sighing he tapped his pencil against the tabletop staring at what he had just written. The main parts of the letters always ended up being the same apology, the same excuse rewritten, and always the vague mention of a piece of scenery he thought she would've liked. It all sounded so…. horrible. After the battle in Sokovia he wasn't sure what made him leave. He knew he could just blame it on the Other Guy, but that didn't explain what he was doing still hiding out on this island. The locals had been willing to help him get set up with the hut he was now staying in while he agreed to help out with their medical needs. He spent most of his days helping in various ways around the main village which resulted in bandaging a lot of farm accidents and such. He spoke Pushti which seemed close to their dialect and worked for basic communication. The island was beautiful, the flowers that bloomed outside of his hut were frequently mentioned in the cards to Natasha that were piling up on the side of the table.

He couldn't avoid his subconscious, which was the thing prompting all of these petty and honestly pathetic letters. He made himself sick with how he left her and he made himself sick thinking about ever having to face her again. There was no winning for him anymore he thought sardonically remembering the night when the Cap had told him that both he and Nat deserved a win. He tried to console himself with the hope that she would still find that win. No one deserved it more than her.

Grumbling under his breath about the wretched heat Bruce pushed the card away from him and laid his glasses down on the table. He got up and removed his shirt wiping off the sweat that had formed on his brow before climbing onto the cot. There were still small rays of light seeping in through the trees around his new home and the last thought he had before he slept left a scowl of pain on his face that night.

"The sun's getting real low."

Unfortunately his letters ended the same too.

Wish you were here!

-Bruce

Please review! No flames please! Constructive criticism welcome _!_

 _-Anya_


	2. Chapter 2

My chapters will be whatever length they end up being so I can't promise consistence there. Enjoy this next installment!

There just weren't enough dummies, Natasha thought. Oh, there were more than enough people who needed to get some brains and realize that they Weren't. The. Bloody. Monster. She took out a practice dummy with each word leaving her surrounded by headless torsos. Stark was running out of things for her to hit.

Smoothing down her tank-top she scolded herself slightly, she needed to get a grip on this.

"Steve!" She called out to where he was taking a breather from running. His tired but endorphin happy expression fell when he saw the look in her eyes and the destruction behind her as she walked towards him.

"Now Nat."

"Don't give me excuses Rodgers. Now are we going to do this or not." Natasha placed her hands on her hips as he slowly put the cap back on his water bottle and tossed it onto his gym bag. Rolling his neck he trudged over to the ring where they had their sparring training.

"Don't worry old man," she said with a smirk as she ducked under the ropes after him, "I'll take it easy on you."

"OH, great thanks!" Steve replied as he cracked his back and shook his head. Their fights were always, stiff, somehow. Not like when Nat trained with Wanda where one of them always left with a bite mark. Clint and Nat fought with a kind of grace and agility that was beyond Steve, and when she trained with Falcon she wasn't sure if she could even call that a true fight. He always entered the ring with the attitude that he was going to get his ass kicked and so far that had always been the result.

"Now I expect you to show some respect to your elder young lady." Cap teased as they began to circle on another. She smirked and replied,

"Careful Cap, you're 1940's is showing."

Her bouts with Cap always could take her mind off of her troubles. But it was in the aftermath, when she was riding alone in the elevator up to her room, standing under the hot water of the shower, or curled up on her couch listening to old 80's music that she couldn't stop the emotions that seemed to want to pull her under.

 _He left. He just left. Nothing. No contact. No stupid postcard from the Bahamas._

She had never cried over a man, and Nat refused to let Bruce be the one to change that. After all what was he but a dorky… science-nerd that had…. found her. Bruce "can't take a hint" Banner had been able to do unknowingly what Clint worked for years to accomplish: he had uncovered the Natasha beneath the Black Widow. She had flirted with him for months before Cap finally said something and still he wasn't sure about her. Why him? She rolled over onto her side and bunched up the blankets under her neck. Why was Bruce the one to make her want all those things that she had decided to put behind her forever, such as romance, family, and intimacy. Now, their careers didn't exactly support the typical romantic relationships most people thought of, and his running off didn't exactly scream love and joy. As to family she knew she always had a family with the Barton's, and intimacy for her had very little to do with sex. Sex had always been just part of the job until she had joined SHIELD. She wanted to be able to bring someone with her every Christmas with Clint and Laura who would stay up late drinking red wine and talk, be able to hold onto someone when the Red Room made its reappearance at night, and worst of all she wanted to do those things with Bruce. Bruce, the Big Guy who was currently MIA and things were looking like there was no way to track him at all.

Tugging the ear buds out of her ears Natasha asked FRIDAY to turn off the lights and she curled up with her pile of blankets and whispered so not even FRIDAY could hear, "Wish you were here."


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear Natasha,_

 _I'm in Thailand. There were apparently some very key differences between Pushti and the dialect of the people on the island I was living on, which I still don't know the name of, I ended up calling the village elders some very offensive names and thought it best to seek my shelter elsewhere (or else get the Other Guy used to poisonous darts)._

Putting down the pen Bruce stared out at the crowded streets. Street vendors were shouting and customers were shouting and everyone else seemed to find some way of adding to the din. There was clothing and rugs and all sorts of material stretched between buildings creating blocks of shade from the piercing sun. Bruce had yet to try to find any sort of work. The small one room flat he now occupied wasn't expensive but his money that he'd found stashed on the quinjet wouldn't last him forever and he'd prefer to keep it in case there was ever a need to make a hasty get away. He planned to go out the next morning to search for a local medical office that might be in need of assistance.

 _You'd love the colors here Nat. They remind me of you vivid, warm, and altogether mesmerizing._

Tapping the table agitatedly with the pen Bruce forced himself to stop that train of thought. There were too many moments as of late where he found himself thinking he could hear Stark telling him to download a schematic or feel Natasha's hand on his wrist. Every day seemed to bring new waves of memories, small moments that he had never thought of before like the night before when he had accidentally bought two coffees as he did when back in New York and would go out to buy drinks in the mornings for Natasha and himself.

He stood up and walked to the door, all of the agitation of the last few days pent up in his hunched shoulders. It wasn't until his hand was on the knob to leave that he rushed back to the table and quickly wrote.

 _I would've left everything for you. I did leave it all for you. One day you'll see that everything I've done is for you Natasha. Even not sending these letters is for you. And if I ever come back I can't do it because of my own longing, only if it is what becomes best for you._

He paused before he wrote the new salutation to his letter,

 _I adore you Nat._

 _-Bruce_

He stood there staring at the words contemplating if he should erase them. The words twisted in his heart, the memory bittersweet. Remembering the feel of her lips on his, which happened frequently, always was coupled with the words that followed, "But I need the Other Guy." It was always the Other Guy. Bruce was never an Avenger, not to SHIELD, the Other Guy was the Avenger. Bruce was a nuisance that didn't stand up when Tony made a murderbot in secret.

Bruce folded the paper carefully and then walked to the bed that was pushed into the corner. He kneeled on the floor and pulled out a small bag that seemed near to bursting. Unzipping the bag wasn't the issue, it was cramming another letter in alongside the rest and trying to close them all up again. The letters seemed to hold all of the fear, anger, and unhappiness he had been feeling since he'd left the team. His letters to Natasha no longer were only about leaving her, they had morphed into his leaving the only people who had accepted him and the Other Guy together.

Bruce carefully placed the bag of letters back under the bed and rose to his feet. Brushing off his legs he grabbed the single key for the flat and walked out to find something to distract him.


	4. Chapter 4

A.N. If I didn't state earlier the parts with Natasha take place at Avenger's Tower. After a while spent at the new SHIELD base the new recruits moved in at Stark's invitation along with the rest of the team. Please ask questions in your reviews if something isn't clear!

Ch. 4

There was nothing like the feeling of eating good Chinese food. The aroma seemed to cling to your lips and then there was the bonus hilarity of watching the Vision try out chopsticks. Clint was looking up bad YouTube videos to "help" him. Wanda had resisted the temptation of fried food and was quietly leaning against the couch with her salad not sure if she had a place in the eating arrangement of the team. There was a giant dining table made of glass with sleek chairs and plenty of room, but they always ended up eating haphazardly on the floor of the smallest living area in the tower. There was an abundance of plates but they were rarely used they all were content to simply pass the food around and in some cases throw the cashew chicken at one another.

"Has Fury told you all the rumors going around on in the Capital?" Steve picked remaining nuts out of his hair as their attention was drawn to him.

"As I was the one who told Fury, no." Nat smiled and sipped her Pepsi. Steve nodded and gestured to the rest of them. Tony nodded, aiming some more noodles at Rhodey who simply got up and moved to sit by Wilson in turn, "Not much goes on politically that Pepper isn't aware of."

"Is this superhero registration?" Wanda was leaning in toward Cap. Clint looked up from his rice quickly. He turned to Nat, a question in his eyes. She nodded toward Steve who took that as his cue to get the ball rolling. "There are some people who are not altogether happy with the way those with supernatural powers are causing destruction when we save their backsides." Clint cleared his throat with a signature grin. "Okay, when we save their asses. Now some senators are discussing writing a bill that would require all of those deemed mutants, superhero's, possessing unnatural abilities to register their powers and skills with the government so they can be monitored and held responsible for any possible repercussions."

"Swallow a politician somewhere?" Wilson attempted to joke and gave a half-hearted laugh that was not reciprocated.

Clint had completely forgotten about the food in his hands and was staring incredulously at Steve. "No. Are they insane?"

"They just want to hold us responsible for our actions. We can't be unchecked forever Barton." Tony interjected.

Clint shook his head and tossed his box down agitatedly. "No Stark. You have no idea what it's like. You have no idea how hard I've worked to keep my family secret. To keep my family safe. And if they think for one second that I am going to be handing over my address to a bunch of twisted politicians they've got another thing coming."

Steve held up his hands. "Barton I personally agree with you. I just thought that you should all have a heads up where things might be going in the next year."

Clint shrugged his shoulders still tense and he began tearing up the empty to-go boxes absentmindedly. Nat knew that this was not the last she would be hearing from Clint on the subject. Deciding that no one needed or wanted her opinion after Barton's outburst she leaned back and picked at the last few bits of rice in front of her. The atmosphere was edgy, no one wanting to start an argument that wouldn't accomplish anything. Well, everyone except Barton.

"What about the doctor?" Wanda asked quietly.

"Banner is on his own. If the government wants to track him and his travelling chemistry kit down that's their business." The acidity of Barton's tone stung.

"I would've guessed with all that chemistry between Widow and Banner, that he would've been extremely interested in some experimenting." Tony's expression deadpanned. There was a heartbeat of silence in shock of the change in direction. Clint stood up moving in front of Nat as if to block what was just said, "For Christ's sake Stark!"

Pepper hissed angrily at him about "timing" and "sensitivity" and "haven't we discussed this?" Wanda shifted slightly away from Stark, not that she ever needed much motivation to cringe from Tony. The one who seemed the most perturbed by the situation was Steve.

"Back off Stark. You know this is unacceptable."

Tony didn't even glance at Steve, "My behavior's not the one that has everyone treating Widow like a porcelain doll." Nat sent him a scathing look and he smirked in reply. He had been the one who had cleared out some of Bruce's lab equipment fearing that Natasha's pain would resurface whenever she saw it.

"Even if that was the case…" The small tiff continued Clint while initially interested stopped listening and began watching the second argument going on in the room. Nat and Tony hadn't broken eye contact since the debacle had started and they still refused to look away. The tension between the two was palpable. Well, not to everyone clearly as Steve was now trying to lead the conversation back to its original topic of the possibility of superhero registration. Eventually it was Stark who broke eye contact severing the private conversation with a small nod.


	5. Chapter 5

AN- I think its time I explain some things about my Bruce and Natasha. I don't think that Bruce would come back at the drop of a hat or just show up again at the Avengers Tower. I also don't think that Nat would ever really let it show how much she missed him or just accept his return when it happens. Please, please review!

Ch.5

Bruce walked in one evening to find Tony Stark sitting at his table drinking a shot of whisky.

Of course it would be this way. There would be no grand gestures, no big entrance, just walk home one night to find that the life he thought was secret clearly never was. He had always suspected that Stark would've had a way to track the quinjet but out of either respect or irritation had left him alone. Up until now that is.

"Can I get you something to eat?" Bruce asked setting down his satchel by the door and walked over the sparse cupboards.

"I already dug through them, you don't have any blueberries." He smiled to himself slightly thinking that only Tony would break into someone's house and complain about the food he wasn't able to steel.

"They don't keep long, I only buy stuff that will last me if I need stay secluded for a while." He replied pulling down a can of beans and turning on the stove. The silence wasn't awkward. It never was for the two of them, they had at times gone days in the lab at the Tower without speaking so much as a single word to the other.

"So Banner…"

And then there were the times that Stark couldn't keep his trap shut.

"You realize that not only have you left the team without a code green to resort to in an emergency…"

Bruce cut in quickly, "Something I never wanted to do in the first pla…"

Tony didn't even take a breath as he continued, "and abandon our Jarvis algorithm in the middle of a crisis now that the Vision has arrived and provided us with all of that new data…" He gave Tony a withering look. "And you left me with a bunch of people who can't speak proper English."

The sound of the beans being poured into the pot was finally heard once Stark stopped talking.

"Is that all?" Bruce asked tiredly, for all of the pent up emotion he had about one day facing a member of the team again, now that it had happened, all he wanted was for the past seven months to be erased. Bruce froze. Tony was talking again but nothing was registering in his brain. _Erased_. So there it was, the thing he had been refusing to face the past few weeks: regret.

Well, damn.

The noise coming from Stark had suddenly become unbearable.

"Enough Tony! Enough!" he yelled.

Bruce had always been uncertain whether it had really been the best decision to leave. He had thought about if he had done the right thing, and then, if he hadn't chosen what was best, could he live with it. This line of thought usually was shut down fairly quickly, he didn't have enough energy to constantly be worrying about it and trying to stay off radar. But clearly some part of his brain had thought it through. The way the letters had become a weight that he felt like he could hardly bear. When he had gone past the American Embassy he had almost called out to a man that resembled Steve. There was also the time that he had gotten online to purchase a plane ticket back to New York. In the moment he had passed those things off as simply weak days of nostalgia. But apparently in the past few weeks something inside him had decided what he really thought of their impulsive flight from the world. He regretted it.

Sitting down slowly across from him, Tony took that as his invitation to speak again.

"She's fine by the way."

A bird started singing outside the window and the raucous from the street seemed to dim just slightly as the work day came to a close.

"Who?"

"Natasha."

He nodded. "I was never worried about her being alright."

"I said she was fine." Tony drug his chair around the table until his knees were practically touching Bruce, forcing him to keep eye contact, "Not that she was alright."

"There's a difference?" Bruce leaned back fidgeting. His arms had all of a sudden become cumbersome and awkward and he wasn't sure what to do with them.

Tony sighed and propped his feet up on the table.

"She's been training the newbies. Kicking their asses and such." He finished off his glass, "She was the one who gave me the go ahead to track you down." Tony gave him a look.

"I wondered what made you change you mind about leaving me alone. You realize that I can't interpret facial expressions for the life of me, right?" Exasperated Stark stood up and paced back and forth before continuing.

"Screw this. I'm only doing this once Bruce and then it's up to you." He paused slightly before continuing. "There is only so much we can bear Bruce, you know this better than anyone. Romanoff is hurting. I'm not sure if even she knows how much. But there is one person and one person alone that cannot handle the hole you've created by leaving."

Not really interested in listening to another rehearsed guilt trip Bruce got up and turned his back on Tony giving his attention to the beans that were starting to warm.

"I'm flattered really Tony, but Natasha will…"

"That person is you Bruce." Banner visibly flinched at those words. "Romanoff is made of tougher stuff than you. She'll go the rest of her life as the world's greatest assassin. She would be able to make herself forget you." Bruce could hear Tony walk further away towards the window. "People make her out to be passionate and impulsive but she's not the one who explodes into a Jolly Green Giant whenever she gets angry now is she? She's not the one who helped make Ultron in secret."

"Not my finest moments, but what is your poin…"

"You will never get over her. Not for the rest of your life. Don't play the martyr Bruce, it's really not an attractive quality. Don't throw away this chance." Stark interjected bluntly and as Bruce turned around he saw the mask shut over Tony's face and he shot out the window.

Bruce fumed for a few minutes sitting at the small table and drumming his fingers rhythmically on the tabletop. Suddenly feeling the weight of Tony's wake up call Bruce pulled a sheet of paper towards him.

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _I'm heading out. Need to make tracks._

 _Wish you were here._

 _-Bruce_

The letter seemed to be in want of some sort of apology but the words just wouldn't come. He left it on the table as he went and put his few belongings in his bag. Once he was packed he looked back at the short note and initially made a move to put it with the others then stopped. Taking another glance at it he turned around and walked out the door, already making plans on where he could hide out next. He knew that he wasn't in the right state of mind or heart to go back to New York. There were many things he needed to sort through before he could begin to think about becoming part of the team again not to mention pursuing Romanoff. Maybe he couldn't forget her, but he could stop clinging to the memories like a child. For the first time since he left Bruce felt as though somehow he was on the clock, and he was running out of time.

AN- If you have any ideas for what would convince Bruce to come back let me know. I'm experiencing some writers block. I have the chapters written for after he returns but I am not sure how to make it happen. REVIEW! Please :)


	6. Chapter 6

AN- In Ch. 4 when Clint speaks rather crossly about Bruce I think that Clint would be angry at the doctor for 1) leaving the team 2) being a person who doesn't have a family to worry about and 3) well, mainly leaving the team. I think that one problem in the AoU movie was they made it seem as though the only one that would feel the absence of Banner would be Natasha, I hope to show that the whole team really missed Bruce. And also, it was only the one note that Bruce left in the flat last installment. Not the whole bag of them. This chapter is from some inspiration that happened at 1:00 last night so tell me how it goes.

Ch.6

It was raining. The water seemed to run down the windows like tears. There was no light except that from the clouds filtering into Clint's living room. The news had just come in via Fury. Congress was moving ahead in drafting a bill that would make everything he worked for little more than dust.

The elevator doors slid open quietly and Nat walked out in full gear.

"When's go time?" He asked.

"This is going to be a regular trip down memory lane for you." She said smiling, "There's a fledgling HYDRA want-to-be base cropping up outside of Budapest."

He sighed and sat up from the couch. There had been a serious lack of need for the two assassins and they were both more than eager to get back into the swing of things.

"Steve said be ready in eight minutes so I'd be hurrying you're ass up there Barton." She had snatched up one of the apples he always kept out on the counter in the back of the room and made her way back out the doors.

-Bruce-

He was sitting in a small café eating small bites out of his baklava. The sky was a depressing gray blanket over the world it seemed. The windows to the street were steamed up from the kitchens in the back of the shop. His waitress was a kindly old woman who happened to speak English, albeit in a very heavy Hungarian accent. He was in Budapest and had been working for a small apothecary in exchange for a bed above the shop. It wasn't a bad place to live, but on occasion he would have flashbacks to Sokovia, which meant he would need to leave soon. The last thing he needed was to have the Other Guy start ruining any progress he'd made while trying to feel human again.

He had given in and written one more letter. It was scrawled on the napkin in front of him and the pencil had cut through the thin paper.

"Do you need anything else darling?" His waitress returned filling his cup with fresh coffee. She had on a locket which had fallen open showing the wedding photograph he assumed was of herself and her husband.

She noticed his gaze and smiled, "Are you married?"

Bruce swallowed his bite of food and shook his head bashfully, "No." There was another thing that he had tried very hard not to think about, because he had firmly decided a long time ago that he would never tie another person to him that way. It wouldn't be fair. Of course he had once decided that he would never let a woman get close enough to ever want to so much as have coffee with him, and that rule had gone out the window.

Her smile widened, "Beautiful girl just waiting for you to ask is it?"

He quickly looked away and took a sip of his coffee both hoping she would change the subject. When it came to trying to talk about Natasha with strangers even he found it far too difficult.

"I know what that face is."

The coffee was bitter and he blamed it for his jumpy behavior. "What face?"

"The face of a man who is in love with a woman." He nearly choked on his tongue as she said that. Unfortunately he also spit some of his coffee onto his shirt which he was most embarrassed about. She continued talking as though nothing had happened. "There's that mix of terror and joy that is not mistakable." Smiling at him she winked as though they shared a secret that only those who had been in love knew of.

"So what is the face of a man who has left the woman he loves?" Bruce felt even worse as he heard the tone that he had just addressed the older lady with.

"So that's the burden on your shoulders." Her voice was kind but to him it was like nails on a chalkboard, her pity was tangible in her words and Bruce knew he deserved no pity. All of his misfortunes began and ended with him alone, but he never failed to hurt everyone he cared about as he tried to make things right. Even though he knew he was over reacting he pulled out the small bag he kept with him in his satchel and tossed in on the table. Anger was stirring inside his heart and making it beat wildly.

"Those are the burden on my shoulders." He tossed some money on the table and as he shuffled his way past the surprised woman he added, "They're for Natasha. You're as likely to see her as I am and I can't keep carrying all this around anymore."

"If that's true then why are you still writing her?" He looked back to see her holding the napkin he had penned the last note on.

Without replying Bruce made his way out of the café, the feelings of the past months threatening to overtake him and he wasn't entirely sure if he could handle it.

-Nat-

The fight had been pathetic. It hadn't even taken half an hour to invade and subdue the base and leave with what could barely pass for useful intel. Natasha urged Tony to wait for them and dragged Clint into town determined to not think about You-Know-Who for one afternoon.

"Let's do lunch at the one café we ended up fighting in front of." She said eagerly pulling him through the damp streets. Everyone seemed to be tired as they passed by, holding whatever they had tightly to their bodies as though it would give some sort of comfort. Nat knew that feeling. The feeling of protection holding an object that belonged to you could give. It was what the girls would do in the Red Room when they were young and still thought of the outside as safe.

"I remember this place." Clint was smiling warmly at a dark alley.

Looking down it they saw a scrawny cat make its way out of one of the dumpsters carrying a small mouse in its teeth.

Nudging his shoulder she encouraged him to continue.

"This is where I called Laura, before I went to take you out." He looked at her quite gravely. "This is where she changed my mind."

He started walking slowly down the street again and Nat followed close to him.

"I've never heard this."

"I never really thought about it much. At first, you were so damaged that I really wasn't sure if I had made the right call. But yeah, it was Laura, talking to her, she told me that I should give you a chance. That everyone has goodness inside them alongside the bad and SHIELD hadn't taken that into account." Natasha threaded her arm through his affectionately and made a mental note to bring Laura something nice the next time she visited the farm.

At the close of his speech they were entering the quaint shop that had almost been destroyed nine years ago. They sat down at a booth and both ordered soup from a kind older woman who was wearing a small locket around her neck. Natasha saw the white line on her ring finger from where she used to wear her wedding ring and she felt suddenly bad for reading into this woman. Clearly she was a widow, and had been for some time. Natasha had noticed the beat up picture of two young boys, probably her sons on the other side of the locket and wondered why they had left their mother to work at a café after their father's death instead of caring for her where they were living.

They made small talk with her while they ate as there were very few other people in the establishment.

"I'll tell you that it is refreshing to see such love between two people."

They laughed. "No really Ma'am, she's like my little sister, anyway I'm married with three kids." Clint told her with a proud smile.

"Yep," Nat said, "A little sister who can beat him up." While they laughed good-naturedly Natasha excused herself to find a bathroom as Clint finished up his food.

"Well I'm happy for you anyway. There was a man in here this morning who was terribly sad and lonely. Apparently he left the love of his life, and has been writing her every day since." She shook her head out of pity, "I accidentally made him a bit angry and he left the whole bag of letters on his table." She held of the bag to show him, "And he even wrote her a note on his napkin while he was eating, I'm not sure he even knew that he was doing it though, some math equations ended up in here after the _Dear Natasha._ " She sighed and turned around before she could see the shock roll across Clint's face.

"It's not possible." He whispered as she began talking again.

"Wherever she is I hope he goes back to her. He looked to be on his last limb."

Clint rose as Natasha came back and he prepared to pay the bill. She let him as it was always awkward to have an argument about stereotypes in a restaurant. The woman thanked them kindly and Natasha walked out ahead of Clint when he waved her on stating that he had to buy a baklava to-go for Cooper and Lila.

Before their waitress could go back and box it up he grabbed her arm and asked quickly.

"Please tell me, are those letters signed by someone named Bruce Banner?"

The look of surprise on her face told him the answer.

"Listen, that woman who was just in here with me is the Natasha. Please, can I have those letters?"

Without a word she pressed them into his hands. He nodded and hurried out the door tucking the bag into his coat.

Catching up with Nat she asked him what had happened to his baklava?

Realizing his mistake he smiled and shrugged casually using the moment to move the bag farther under his arm. "They were out. Maybe next time."

When they returned to the tower Clint entered his floor and stuffed the bag behind one of the vent gratings. Natasha was getting over Banner, no need to bring it all up again.

-In Nat's room-

The water was scalding hot and was turning her skin a rather alarming shade of red. If she was honest though she could barely feel the burning. Her hair matted together in the water blocking the light from her eyes.

"Damn you Bruce Banner." She cursed at the empty room, "Where are you?" the water beat down on her back and she succumbed kneeling on the shower floor as she let the pain of missing him make its way through her. It was going to be a long night.

AN- okay I know that it wasn't in Budapest that Clint was sent to kill Natasha but there was some stuff I wanted to include. Oh, and Bruce is not as pathetic as I'm making him out to be. In my head since he is without the group of people who were able to calm him (specifically Nat) he's on the edge of a "hulking out" and not really thinking clearly.

Review lovelies! And thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

AN- I don't know if I need to apologize yet. But you will see, and I'm sorry. This all just sort of happened.

Ch. 7

It was a Thursday. The sun was bright and he loved the warmth it brought to his skin. Nothing else could remotely be considered comforting. Cold eyes were watching him as though he was a rabid dog waiting to bite. Steve was looking around at the team as if to check they were all looking at the same thing. Stark had turned around and left the minute he saw Bruce on the ground and was closely followed by the Vision and Rhodey.

Natasha was leaning over him her eyes wide and he could see the fear of his own reflected in them. He brushed his knuckles across her cheek and chuckled which was followed with a wince. "Natasha…" he murmured just as the darkness closed in around him.

-Earlier that day-

The past few weeks Bruce had lived without note writing. He had also lived with sparse food and water and only branches for a shelter over his head. Grieving for the hole in his life that he had created had finally consumed him. It had been three hours since he had calmed down and returned to his normal body. Currently the sun was filtering in through the faceted leaves above him, rolling onto his side the dead leaves crackled and he chuckled suddenly thinking of breakfast cereal.

He knew he wasn't well. He was getting to the point of detrimental dehydration and had barely gotten a chance to rest between transformations. After months of The Other Guy being merely an afterthought he was now out in full force. Luckily he had managed to get himself isolated before the attacks started. The final trigger had happened the same day that he left behind the letters. When he had returned to the small apothecary shop there were people surrounding it begging for assistance as there had been an attack on the edge of the city and had left many with injuries that they could not pay the hospitals to treat. After wrapping wounds and picking glass and dirt out of injuries for what seemed like hours he was interrupted by a frantic woman speaking Hungarian very quickly. Another person in the crowd spoke English and helped translate telling Bruce that she was looking for a man who had worked as a security guard at the building that was attacked.  
"Please, please! I need to find him. You see I love him and I left him." the translator told him as the woman gripped his arm. "I made a mistake sir and please have you seen Bence Nemèth? It can't end like this!"

It was then that Bruce began to wonder what he would do if he one day found out that Natasha had been injured or killed and he had left things as they were. He hadn't lasted the full day in the city before he knew he needed to get out before the Big Guy made his appearance, and now Hulk didn't seem to want to leave.

It wasn't until he began coming to with bits of a bear surrounding him that he knew it was getting too dangerous to continue unchecked. Groaning he hauled himself to his feet and set off hoping he found a village nearby.

-Natasha-

There had been reports coming in from a rural area near where they had recently taken out a HYDRA base. Apparently there was a giant creature creating havoc and destroying private property. They thought it might be a good opportunity to run the new recruits so they headed out without any idea what they were walking into.

When they landed there he was, as green as new grass in the spring.

For a moment they all simply stood there watching the Hulk rip up a tree from the ground in a fury.

"Romanoff," Tony at least had the decency to speak quietly, "Time for a lullaby."

Now here she was holding a passed out Bruce Banner in her arms. The lullaby had worked _Thank God!_ and there was no need to call in the new Veronica. He looked horrible, his skin was pulled tight across his bones and it looked as though he had lost a lot of weight. Natasha brushed his now long hair back and could feel how hot his skin was.

"He's sick we need to get him back to base."

Clint walked up behind them and knelt beside Banner's head.

"Even I can tell he is severely dehydrated. Tell the med team to prep an IV, we need to get him stabilized. Then we can worry about the fever, but that might just be a Hulk thing. Let's move!" Pressing his com he told Tony to get the jet ready for an extra passenger.

Clint and Steve carried him and Natasha made no effort to keep him close and when they were on the jet she sat in the front by Stark and refused to look back at what was happening with him.

Things only seemed to escalate once they made it back to base. He was rushed out on a stretcher with doctors and nurses converging around him starting an IV, taking blood pressure, yelling for someone to get a full body scan going.

Clint kept giving her concerned looks which she refused to acknowledge. _What was he doing here? Why was it now that the found him?_

Fury was waiting for them inside and they all followed him into the conference room as Bruce disappeared with the medical team. They all filed in total silence.

Tony was nursing some minor injuries of his own while Steve began the questions. "Who was it that tipped us off to the Hulk? There were no civilians in the area and I couldn't even find any sign of private property damage. Why were we not told that it was indeed the Hulk we were going to be facing?" Nat saw the hidden grimace in Fury's eyes.

"It was Banner who called." The team erupted into confusion and began arguing. Tony, for once, primarily stayed out of the conversation only interrupting to say that they should stop complaining about his return when that was what they had all wanted since Banner's disappearance. Barton piped up in agreement, though it looked as though it was physically painful to do so, and said that they should all simply leave the doctor alone to heal and leave the past in the past. It was somewhat surprising seeing that it was Hill and Wanda who were the most outspoken in their disagreeing with Stark and Barton both saying that Banner needed to give testimony and explanations the minute he woke.

Utterly sick of the conversation Natasha got up and left the room. "Damn you." She whispered. It had become her new catchphrase when thinking about Bruce and she found it left a bitter taste in her mouth that was actually worse than the tightening in her chest. While she had done her best to avoid looking at him on the ride back she had felt the bones poking her arms when he had come back to himself and she had felt his skin burning with fever. They had never known Bruce to be sick and having found him on the edge of insanity had thrown her off more than she had anticipated. Of course she had thought about the 'if he comes back' plan, but there had never been a scenario where he was in such terrible shape.

Looking up Natasha found that she had walked into the medical ward and was standing outside the windows of Bruce's room. There were only a couple nurses inside monitoring his heart rate and blood pressure. His face was pale and his right hand seemed to have some sort of tick.

Her hand was on the door to go into his room before she stopped herself for a moment and then continued on her way in.

Hearing his breath was surreal. It was possible that someone had attempted to tell her she needed to leave but had clearly given up as she brushed the long hair back from Bruce's face. She liked his hair long she decided. It was thick and curly and slid through her fingers softly, apparently someone had taken the time to wash it as she remembered it being almost matted when they had found him. Sitting down she ran her hand softly, almost reverently, down his arm relishing in the feeling of having him home again. He wasn't forgiven, and she didn't know what she would have done if he had woken. There was anger still festering in her heart and the pain he had put them all through was not something that any of them could forget.

Picking up his hand she pressed it to her lips and stayed with him until the sun began to filter into the ward.


	8. Chapter 8

AN- alright I know that the whole bringing Bruce back thing was pretty rushed but I needed to get it done so I could start with these chapters that I've been looking forward to.

Review please!

Ch. 8

The days were blurred and there always seemed to be overlapping voices discussing him or trying to talk to him. When things were dark there was always a hand in his, gently rubbing circles on the back of his hand. It was this anonymous companion who always managed to sooth the pain and keep the Other Guy happy.

The more he healed and returned to the land of the living the less the person would come to him. He discovered that he couldn't sleep through the night without the nightmares coming to visit unless he had the warmth from that one visitor.

He just wished he was awake to know who it was.

After he was able to stay awake for more than a few minutes at a time Bruce discharged himself from the med bay against the wishes of the other doctors.

Walking out of the elevator on his floor he was surprised to find his guilt was intensified. Nothing had been moved and there was a healthy half inch of dust coating the surface of everything. The curtains on the windows in his bedroom hadn't even been pulled back so when he did open them he was showered in a layer of grime. The books he had been going through were still lying open on the desk in the corner and there was still crumpled paper in the wastebasket.

So far his escape from med center had gone unchecked and no one had tried to find him, though JARVIS could certainly locate him easily enough.

Sighing heavily he made his way back to the elevator and headed for the common lounge. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable and the whole reason of returning would slip away if he didn't get it in gear.

It was time to reunite the team.

-A little while later in the lounge-

"Why now? After all this time."

There was no shame in his manner and no apology was forthcoming. He folded his arms in front of him before replying rather secretively, "I was shown something." Thinking back on the woman at the apothecary shop and the kind waitress at the café he knew that they were the ones to blame for his first breakdown and now return.

"Do you mind if I ask exactly what that something was?" Clint shot back.

Bruce merely shrugged and met each of their eyes. "I can apologize but it won't undo what's been done." He said specifically looking at Clint, "I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere." His eyes found Natasha's as he spoke and a gentle smile crossed his face.

"Why would we believe that?" Hill's skepticism was mirrored on many faces around the room.

"Because… "here he paused and thought about what had been mulling over in his mind the past few weeks, "we're family. And family stays together." Clint and Tony looked pointedly at the ground. "I'd forgotten that." Wanda lowered her head but not before he saw the tears welling up in her eyes.

Bruce began to step toward the red head who was avoiding his gaze but he didn't get very far. Stark clapped his hands together and grabbed Bruce by the arm. "Good chat. Now we're going to the lab before someone else's waterworks break." They stepped into the elevator, Bruce looking rather wildly over his shoulder. As the doors closed Tony laughed and said, "Come on now Banner, we've got new toys to break."

-Nat-

As Tony pulled him out of the room she quickly followed suit listening in on their conversation.

"Trust me Banner, you do not want to try and talk with Romanoff right now. I'm pretty sure Barton would personally tear your hide to shreds."

"I have to see her."

"Look give it some time. It is strange for us all for you to be back."

There was silence after this and Natasha almost made her entrance when Bruce began speaking again.

"I'm sorry."

Her heart caught in her throat.

"I know you are, and that's why you should stay away from Romanoff. I'm not sure what you were thinking would happen when you came back. That you two would pick back up all lovey dovey and making us all sick…"

"And you and Pepper do what exactly?"

"Moot point. Try to understand something. While you might've spent the last seven months pining over her she has spent the last seven months trying to forget you. Give her space and give her time. Odds are she won't want anything to do with you for a while."

There was the sound of things breaking and Tony cursed. He had apparently dropped a vial of something.

"I don't know why I called." Bruce said very quietly.

"Neither do I." Natasha finally spoke up from the shadows. She had the satisfaction of looking into their shocked faces for a moment before giving Tony a knowing look.

Putting down his tablet Tony gave Bruce an encouraging pat on the shoulder. As he walked past Natasha he put his hand on her forearm and spoke quietly close to her ear.

"Keep in mind that you could regret this." He raised his brow and she nodded in turn.

"We'll see." She replied as he released her arm and she found herself alone with those brown eyes that had haunted her dreams for much longer than she would admit.

AN- I feel kind of cruel for leaving you here but the next few chapters should move rather quickly.

Please review!

-Anya


	9. Chapter 9

Ch. 9

She realized that she had missed his eyes. They were full of warmth and made her want to relax and fall straight into his arms.

But she couldn't let that happen.

"You left."

He only leaned back against the table and folded his arms across his chest.

No one had cut his hair, or maybe he had just gotten used to it being long. It was pulled back in a low pony tail, some rogue strands were framing his face.

Nat like it slightly more than she should.

"We had a plan: to just disappear." Walking toward him he seemed to shrink at her advance. When she was close enough to see the stitching on his lapel she stopped. "Which you managed well enough, but you forgot something."

"And what was that?" he asked, no challenge in his voice.

She was proud that she was able to keep her voice from trembling as she answered,

"Me."

The pain in Bruce's face did not do what she had hoped. Her petty excuse at revenge had rebounded and she felt her heart aching to sooth the lines on his forehead and bury her head on his chest. To feel his arms wrap around her and the yearning grew so quickly that she found her body leaning forward as if to fly toward him and keep them both from breaking. But she was Natalia Romanovna, and she knew what it was to be broken and she knew how to make it happen to others.

His head was hanging low and he was cradling his forehead in his hand.

"Natasha…"

"No Doctor Banner." He resembled a struck puppy as she began her tirade. "I am sorry. I wanted to finish the job. I didn't want to leave the team to deal with Ultron alone. They could've lost without you Doctor! They could have died!" Her breath was coming quickly as her heart rate sped up. "Don't you understand why I couldn't leave them? We were in the middle of a battle! How could you put me in that position? How could you make me choose?" Her voice hiccupped toward the end and she steeled her expression. Natasha had had no intention of revealing all of the insecurities that had haunted her the past months. The point of talking to Bruce had been to… The point…

"I don't know why I'm here." She whispered her eyes wide.

Bruce smiled at her and something changed beneath his hurt expression. The pain in him seemed to fade slightly as something else, determinedly, took charge. "Bruce," her brows furrowing as he walked toward her, she backed up into the counter as he neared her, "what are you doing" she breathed. Smiling wistfully he reached and touched a red curl with just one finger. Feeling the smooth silk of her hair on his rough skin. Turning his attention to her face he saw her biting her lip and as he focused on those green eyes he saw what he'd been looking for.

"I'm running with it." He whispered and lowered his lips to meet hers in a soft kiss.

He was gentle, barely brushing their lips across each other. Simply taking the moment she was giving him to breathe her in. The lemon soap she loved filled his senses. Though she would never request for it, the soap always appeared in her bathroom after Pepper had found out about it. He moved nearer to her, curling his hands around her waist, reveling in the feeling of her closeness.

Then pain exploded across the side of his face. He stumbled back holding his eye and looked up at the woman who had just punched the hell out of him. He could feel the blood trickle over his lips from his nose. His one eye was screwed shut and the other watering in pain.

"Been a long time since I've had to hit a man to get him to back off." He looked at her, starting to get angry at how she had made such a dangerous move. As if she could read his mind she smirked acerbically, "The Hulk and I are on good terms Bruce. He didn't hurt me after I shoved him off of a precipice. One bloody nose and a black eye isn't going to make you lose your cool." She brushed down her shirt and fixed her hair absentmindedly which didn't fool Bruce, he knew that she was scared as hell at what she had done.

"Don't worry about me its fine. We were only ever a pipe dream." Nat smiled down at him. There was a small spark in her eye and she patted his shoulder condescendingly. "It is better now that we both know nothing could've come from it."

As she left him there kneeling on the floor, Bruce wondered what exactly he was doing. At one point running with it had been a plan, she had said it herself… He was still running, but now he was running after someone who didn't want to be caught.

-Later that week-

There was no hatred in her eyes. No anger in the set of Natasha's shoulders. She was relaxed, no, not relaxed, Natasha was detached. She smiled at him without warmth or malice. She passed him the bowl of chips, even touched his hands without so much as a flinch or a spark in her eyes. There was no effort to avoid him though she did not search him out. He watched her, not very subtly, while she talked with Clint who was putting away the dishes, and while she 'helped' Steve put out all of the pillows as they prepared for the first movie night since he had returned to the Tower.

No one had commented on the bruised status of his face. Except Tony, of course, who had decided that it warranted a talk on kinky behavior and why they needed to watch "The Spy Who Loved Me," evidently one of Stark's favorite James Bond films, though Bruce suspected that wasn't the main reason in wanting to watch this particular film.

The team settled down and munched on popcorn and other snacks, they very rarely ate a full healthy meal. Bruce found himself lounging on the couch beside Steve who was trying to understand why there were so many men playing the same character. Clint then went into a mini-speech on Time Lords which didn't help matters. Thor, back from Asgaard, thought that Clint was serious and then was very eager to meet this "Doctor" and wanted to go and ask Heimdal about him immediately, much to the amusement of Barton.

Bruce tried to not notice Natasha. The way her hair was mussed as though she had just woken from a nap before coming down to the lounge. How she kept rubbing her left foot as though she had injured it during training, which was likely. The way her shirt rode up when she sat down showing a sliver of creamy smooth skin on her lower back.

He wasn't very good at not noticing.

While his relationship with Natasha had backtracked the rest of the team seemed to have relaxed to his reentry to the tower. The conversations came easily, or as easy as they came to an introverted soul such as he, and even Barton, who he had expected to take the role of Natasha's older brother, had visited him in his lab that morning and offered to help him get ahold of a motorcycle if he'd like one again. No one was behaving with false happiness or flashing him tight smiles hiding any discomfort, he was home, and he made up his mind that no matter what, he would not allow his presence to take away this home from Natasha. He wouldn't give up on her, he would always come if she ever wanted him, but for the near future he would keep himself to the lab and his room. Solitude was a solace to him anyway.

Half way through the movie Bruce excused himself quietly and knew this time, she would not follow.

AN- I want to thank you for all of the wonderful reviews! Keep them coming!


	10. Chapter 10

AN- I won't be able to post again until Monday, so hopefully this will be suspenseful enough to tide everyone over until then!

Ch. 10

A week after the kissing incident things started appearing outside Natasha's door. First it was small things, a tray of tea after a mission, one of the fuzzy blankets she loved after complaining that hers had lost its fluffiness. She originally passed it off as FRIDAY or Pepper being a dear but then there were the random gifts like sunflowers (her favorite), a box of ginger brew, and the latest one that she was holding in her hand, which she finally attributed to the team's favorite doctor, a large bowl of her favorite comfort food: broccoli macaroni and cheese.

The mission she had just returned from had been a rough one, a lot of her own personal demons had come up and she was a mess upon returning to the tower. She had texted Clint casually trying to find out where he was, she needed someone to talk to, but he had taken the weekend to return to the farm and spend time with Laura as the kids spent time with their grandparents, on the maternal side of course.

She wrapped her arms around herself and walked back into her room stabbing a bite of the warm meal and moaning as it practically melted in her mouth. The mission had taken place in Sao Paulo. There had been, dealings done there before. Before she had begun using her skill set for the good side. Tonight was a danger night and she knew it. She wasn't above deceiving herself about these things and forced herself to leave the oppressive silence of her apartment and go seek company, needing to simply look into the eyes of someone who understood what was happening inside. The only eyes she wanted to see, however, were the color of coffee and the soil after a gentle rain.

Giving up she called up to the ceiling, "Friday?"

"Yes Ms. Romanoff."

"Where is Doctor Banner?"

* * *

Natasha slowly walked into Tony's lab, for one of the few times in her life she was altogether unsure of herself and what she was going to do. Tony looked up from his experiment as he rounded the corner.

"If you've come in want of a punching bag go away. Try Thor. He probably wouldn't even wake up."

"Tony, where is Bruce, FRIDAY said he was in here."

He tossed some of the data away on the screen in front of him and made a few more calculations before answering.

"That's because I rerouted her system so that if you ever asked where Banner was she would direct you to me."

Natasha held back a wince at his words.

"Look I really..."

"You really don't get how much that guy is willing to sacrifice for you." Tony's voice increased in volume as he walked around the counter, "This man travelled practically around the world for you. Do you understand how much you mean to him?"

"I do now." She stared into his dark eyes pleading. "Where is he I need to talk to him?"

"There's just one more thing." Tony went on as though she hadn't spoken. "How much does he mean to you?"

"If he meant as little to me as you seem to think would I be trying to find him now?"

Tony stopped working and their eyes met.

"Now are you going to tell me where he is or not?"

Pursing his lips and shaking his head Tony looked genuinely apologetic.

"I'm sorry but I can't."

"Tony…"

"Because I have no idea where he is." He finished.

Turning on her heel she marched back out of the lab her curls quivering in renewed anger. If Bruce was determined to avoid her he might as well have stayed away.

"Well when the doctor deigns to present himself tell him that he can go right back to Fiji. He's of no use here."

* * *

-Clint-

He was laying on the couch with Laura as they listened to the sound of night roll over the farm. Clint loved being home, the tower with the team was home too, they understood his lifestyle and shared his demons, Laura knew that and he loved her all the more for never complaining when he stayed at the tower to relax between missions.

"You need to do this Clint." She murmured quietly in the growing dark. "It will hurt and she will be angry with you."

"Not the best sales pitch ever, honey."

Raising her head up from his shoulder she rolled her eyes and continued, "But she will thank you for it in the long run."

Rubbing her back gently she returned her head to his shoulder and they held one another close as the light of the stars peered in from the night sky.

"I know."

* * *

Clint was approaching. She could always tell, it was as though he created a new energy when he came near her that she always picked up on.

"What's up Clint?" She continued to flip through the channels on the telly. There was never anything of any quality on in the middle of the afternoon, which is why she typically went out and frequented small coffee shops almost drinking her weight in caffeine. This habit had increased as she was now also not welcome in Tony's lab after her outburst. He clearly had told Bruce for now the most she ever saw of him was his back as she entered a room.

"I'm sorry." He rounded the couch and sat down on the far edge which is back partially facing her.

She smirked and replied, "Well if I find my stash of sour patch kids messed with I guess I know who to blame."

"No Nat." There was pain in his voice. His hands were curled into fists against his leg and he was starting to cave in upon himself. Quickly she muted the television and moved herself closer to her partner. Placing her arm around his shoulder, for the first time since they had learned to trust one another, he pushed her away. Before she could protest she found a small bag placed in her hands. The kind that one would use to carry some sort of umbrella. Confused, she stared at Clint, waiting for an answer.

"Read. Then you'll understand." He gently pushed her again. Before she could argue he was gone.

She unconcernedly opened the bag and was greeted with the must of old paper. Clearly the bag had not been opened in some time. There were a myriad of different sized letters stuffed into the synthetic fabric. Carefully she pried one out from the others. It was a postcard from the looks of it, covered in exotic wildflowers of red and green. Turning it over she saw a handwriting that she didn't recognize at first.

 _Dear Natasha,_

She skipped down to the bottom of the letter and stopped breathing for a moment as she read,

 _Wish you were here._

 _-Bruce_

AN- I am so mean.

Review please!

-Anya


	11. Chapter 11

Ch. 11

Some were cheap postcards with pictures of scenic sunsets and white sand. Others were scraps of brown wrapping paper. There were even a few newspaper edgings that had been written on and all of them seemed to have been folded and refolded with the greatest of care. She skimmed the letters catching phrases that pierced her heart as though she had been physically hurt.

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _The sky is the color of your hair tonight, I didn't even know that was possible._

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _I'm sorry I cut you off._

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _I met a little boy, you would've hated him. Spoiled rotten._

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _I don't know if you like pomegranates, I wish I did know, but the ones I'm eating now simply melt in your mouth._

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _Did you know that on occasion I would steal your bike?_

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _I can't really picture you living here. The land is without character and the people seem quite bland. I think I'll be moving on soon._

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _Some nights I wake up and think that you're right beside me. I can't decide what is worse, your absence when I wake or the nightmares of losing you._

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _When did you flirt with Rodgers? Up close?_

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _I hope you come to Nepal one day. You would love it._

 _Dear Natasha_

 _Dear Natasha_

 _Natasha_

 _Natasha_

 _Natasha_

She threw the letters on the ground her hands shaking. The thought of being glad she had moved to her room before reading the letters passed through her head quickly before she curled her knees up to her chest and the screaming inside her head began. There were hundreds of letters. Hundreds. It seemed as though Bruce had written her every single day since he left. Every day he had taken time to write. To think about her. Every damn day.

"FRIDAY?"

"Yes Ms. Romanoff."

"Tell Barton to get his ass down here."

* * *

When Clint walked into the room shame and guilt were written all over his face. Her voice was cold as she spoke. "Tell me what you meant."

"Meant by wh…"

"Because I've read them and I most certainly DO NOT UNDERSTAND!"

Clint flinched and she hated him for his weakness.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"I was trying to protect you Nat."

"How long?" she was disgusted with the sight of him by that point. "How long have you had these? Did he give them to you? Have you been laughing about this? Oh Bruce and Natasha and their horrible screwed up romance!"

"Stop it!"

"No!" She knew that she was verging on losing it. "No, I have had just about enough of people keeping things from me Clint. I have been made a fool!" The tears stung in her eyes and she could no longer make out the man in front of her. "I have made a terrible mistake." She whispered, almost to herself.

Clint tried to keep talking to her but she was gone. Nat had once again retreated back into herself and he knew from past experiences that all one could do was wait for her to calm down.

Clint was never very good at waiting.

He kissed her forehead and whispered an apology against her hair before running out of the room and hitting the green button on the elevator taking him to Bruce's personal lab where he usually hid out when Tony got ridiculous. The ride on the elevator seemed to take forever, he watched with mounting frustration as the numbers ticked by leading up to the 27th floor.

As the doors finally opened Clint rushed in and began shouting, "Banner! Bruce! BRUCE!"

He found him sitting on the ground surrounded by papers and equations, opera music spilling from his headphones. Barton yanked him to his feet.

"I'm sorry Bruce. I've made some mistakes."

"Barton what are you…"

"It's Natasha." And he received no more resistance. The ride down was spent in anxious silence.

When the doors to Nat's floor opened Clint pushed Bruce forward but didn't follow. The doctor looked back curiously and he just shook his head.

"It's you doctor. She needs you, it's always been you. I'm sorry I didn't see that."

Bruce nodded and continued on into the apartment as the doors closed.

* * *

There was more than enough fear in Bruce's mind to make his heart rate something to be concerned about which resulted in a solid ten minutes of him concentrating on his breathing out in the entryway of Natasha's suite before he deemed it safe to continue. Though if this meeting went like their last it might not matter how calm he was going in.

Approaching her semi-open door he could hear nothing. Not even the sound of heavy breathing or of feet brushing the carpet. Swallowing his anxiousness he knocked on the wall to the edge of the door, not so much as peering in without permission.

When no response came he did lean his head in, wondering if she had left.

She hadn't.

Nat was sitting cross legged on the bed holding a sheet of paper that looked as though it had been folded and unfolded many times. Which of course, it had, he should know, it was him who had done it when rereading his letters became a sort of therapy on his low days. They helped him keep going because in his letters he always looked on the bright side, it was in the letters that he found the good things that he would want her to know.

"Dear Natasha," she read aloud, he coughed shyly and clung to the edges of the room. Her voice rang strong and clear in the small room and she didn't look up as she kept reading, "I'm in Thailand. There were apparently some very key differences between Pushti and the dialect of the people on the island I was living on, which I still don't know the name of. I ended up calling the village elders some very offensive names and thought it best to seek my shelter elsewhere (or else get the Other Guy used to poisonous darts).'" She paused and a small smile crossed her face. "You'd love the colors here Nat. They remind me of you, vivid…" she faded. A strange painful expression crossed her face. Her bottom lip began to tremble slightly and hot tears filled her eyes, "Warm…" her voice gave out entirely, tears fell freely down her face.

"And altogether mesmerizing." Bruce finished in his soft baritone. Natasha's face contorted as she cried, letting the intense emotions roll over her and she leaned down pressing the side of her face into the sheets. He moved toward her and she felt the mattress dip as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"I would've left everything for you. I did leave it all for you." His hand came up and stroked her hair, "One day you'll see that everything I've done is for you Natasha," he spoke her name with a reverence that left her trying to remember how to breathe, "Even not sending these letters is for you. And if I ever come back I can't do it because of my own longing, only if it is what becomes best for you."

He waited for her to look up at him. When she continued to stare mournfully at her lap letting the tears go he placed his fingers under her chin and slowly tilted her head up towards him.

"I adore you Nat." she immediately moved toward him and wrapped her entire body around him, trying to close any space that could possibly exist between them. Her arms came up around his neck and her legs curled around his. He responded in kind with his head finding the crook her neck and they clung together as though the other was their only hope.

For what seemed like only a few minutes they held and kept one another close. Nat's heart thumped wildly against her chest and she was sure that he could feel it just as she could feel his pulse racing beneath his skin.

As she gradually calmed down from the emotional high she'd been caught in she began to take in the sight of the man in her arms. She could feel the scratch of his unshaven cheek against her neck and now recognized the gentle kisses he was absentmindedly placing on her shoulder. His arms were strong around her waist holding her firmly against him. He had for some time been the glue that held her together. They had shared late night talks when the nightmares made sleep a treacherous refuge and she had grown to love curling up next to the doctor as they drank tea and let their darkness fade for a moment. Natasha nuzzled Bruce's neck relishing the way it made him shiver. Unfortunately it also made him begin to pull away.

"Stay." She tried to put all of her need for him, for his steadiness, his strength, and she added as an afterthought, his love.

Bruce's eyes melted the last gut instinct to be the cold uncaring Natalia, tonight she wanted to be Nat. This Nat. The one who fell in love with Bruce Banner. The one who Clint's kids called Auntie. And above all the Nat who Bruce Banner loved too.

Without comment Bruce unbuttoned his shirt and shucked it on the floor leaving on his white t-shirt he crawled back onto the bed next to her.

Just as she slipped into dreams she heard him whisper something against her hair. She wanted to stay awake and ask him to say it again but the soft blankets and warm body next to her lulled her into a deep sleep.

* * *

AN- I hope this makes up for the previous chapter I could take this story a few different ways from here. There will be one more chapter definitely before I decide where I'll be heading; whether I want to have this be a romantic fluffy story about their life ahead with only a few problems, or if I want to try to take on the Avengers' civil war.


	12. Chapter 12

AN- Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews! I love reading them and they do help me write! This chapter will have more of the Barton family as I absolutely love them! It will also have some fluffy brutasha romance I have decided I will not be giving Nat and Bruce an _easy_ happy ending. They will get a happy ending but it will just be a tough road ahead for the two of them.

Ch. 12

-Clint-

He landed the jet rather more roughly than he should have in the field behind the farm, the ground shook with the impact and Clint jerked forward in his seat. It was the middle of the night but he could see the light of the lamp Laura always left on in case he made sudden returns like this one. Shaking off the jarring landing he made his way across the grass the cold damp stems crunching beneath his feet. The second step made its comforting creak as he walked onto the porch. The wood was smooth under his hands and he saw the missing floorboards where he had left off his last renovation.

Walking into the entryway he tripped over something and just barely grabbed the coat hook to keep himself from falling. Looking to find the culprit he saw a pair of bright green rain boots, Lila's. He shook his head and moved them to the shoebox by the door. He turned off the lamp in the living room and made his way upstairs. Pushing open the door to the first room off the landing he saw the stars projected on the walls and off of the back of Cooper's head as he slept. Lila was also fast asleep with one of her braids hanging in her mouth. Not wanting to dare wake up Nathaniel, Clint made his way to their room at the end of the hall. Laura also always left the door open when he wasn't at home and as he stepped in he closed it softly behind him. Laura was laying facing the window, her arms circling a pillow. He moved around the bed and kneeled to look at her sleeping face. The lines by her eyes were less pronounced compared to when he had left her. Her hair was down and falling into her face. As he moved it behind her ear she shifted and groaned slightly but didn't wake. Clint brushed his knuckles against her cheek before he stood and walked to the closet to change into something more suitable to sleeping, it was something that he enjoyed doing as for years he had simply slept in his gear in some alcove or tree on missions, putting on sweats and a t-shirt made him feel more human and after the conversation with Nat he didn't feel very calm or collected. He wondered if he should feel bad for throwing Bruce in the line of fire and then high-tailing it back to the farm, but as he crawled into bed next to Laura and curled his arm around her smelling her strawberry shampoo, he couldn't make himself worry about what was happening back at the tower.

* * *

-Tony-

"That compound will cause a rather significant amount of radiation. Do you wish to continue?"

"No." The compound fell to pieces on the screen in front of him and he kicked it to the side for good measure. Nothing was working. Every project he had started in the past two weeks had crumbled before his eyes or singed off his eyebrows.

He knew things would be rough when Banner got back. Everyone was doing their level best to act natural but there was always that unspoken distrust of the doctor that lurked beneath the surface. When he had visited Bruce in Thailand Banner had been rugged, but okay, he had been managing. Finding him in a state of delirium had been something of a shock for everyone, but Tony couldn't help but feel guilty. What if he had just grabbed him and flew him back to the tower before things had gotten so bad? They had all seen the Hulk take over before Bruce was able to help channel the anger, but this had been different. This was like what had happened in Johannesburg. He had been mad, insane, there was no talking to him. Of course Nat had been able to calm him down but not before some serious hits had been issued.

That was another thing. The lullaby. What was behind it? Why did it only work when it was Natasha?

The obvious answer was le amor between the doctor and the assassin. But Tony was certain that there was something else. Something that no one had thought of.

* * *

-Bruce-

He awoke sluggishly, first snuggling further into the warm soft form next to him. As the memories of the previous night filtered into his conscience the wonderful feeling of having Nat lying next to him began to tie knots in his stomach. Her hand was resting on his stomach and her head was on his shoulder. When he worked up the courage to open his eyes he saw that she was still asleep. She may have been faking it but he couldn't tell the difference. Her lashes were casting shadows on her cheekbones and her breath came slow and heavy, blowing hot across his throat. The more he came into consciousness and absorbed the beautiful creature in his arm the more his situation became more than a little... uncomfortable.

As he tensed beneath her and began to go through his breathing exercises Natasha started to wake. She stretched like a cat next to him rolling onto her back, giving him some welcome space to readjust himself.

Nat shifted onto her side and smiled up at him. There was a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest that he hadn't felt for some time, the privilege of having another person to wake up to was one that he cherished most dearly. Brushing some curls back from her face she propped her chin up on her arm and continued to look at him happily. The last time he had seen her this happy was the night that the team sat together and ended up trying to lift Mjolnir. Of course that hadn't exactly ended well.

"I like this." Nat hummed and reached out to trace patterns on his arms.

"Do you work out?" The question surprised him, he too rolled onto his side to face her.

"No, I don't really need to help the Other Guy stay in shape." She nodded and moved her hand along his biceps.

"How did you get all of these muscles then? Do you have abs too?" her hand moved slowly and he had trouble concentrating and she moved it to his chest and then his stomach. Ending the intensity of the moment he grabbed her hand, not unkindly, and pulled it away placing it on the bed between them.

"Nat." he could hear the trepidation in his voice. Her brows furrowed softly, moving even closer to him. "We need to talk."

* * *

AN- now I need to decide exactly what they're going to talk about Leave reviews please! I really appreciate them! Also if you want to give some ideas on what the reason is behind the lullaby! Or how you think our duo will progress! I seriously love reviews, I'm having some writer's block which is why it took me a few days to get this chapter done!


	13. Chapter 13

AN- Here's some fluff as many of you requested I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I don't like it when they're fighting.

* * *

Ch. 13

"Talk." The word rolled of her tongue like a well-known swear word. She allowed her opinion of his plan to show on her face, scrunching her nose and curling her lip up, an altogether nasty expression. Talking never got her anywhere. As a spy, talking, was something she made _other_ people do and made a practice of keeping her mouth shut as much as possible. Bruce rolled onto his back and sat up leaving a cold space where he had been laying close to her. She shifted her body so she was laying horizontally on the bed, letting Bruce's leftover body heat soak into her side. If his words weren't left hanging in the air the moment would have been sweet. There followed seven minutes of total silence. Not even the chirring from the lab could be heard through the walls.

Natasha knew what she could say and have Bruce eating out of the palm of her hand, never knowing it would choke him in the end. But of course Bruce was not a normal man. The fact that she had woken up lying in his arms was proof of that. She suppressed the urge to brush her hair behind her ear, it was her nervous tick and she kept it in close check out of habit from her training. Very few people knew about it and not even Clint had figured it out.

"Talking is what got us into this mess." She muttered acerbically.

Bruce turned to face her, his brows furrowed and she could tell that an apology was about to leave his lips. So she did exactly what he didn't want her to do and leaned forward and kissed him. Kissing Bruce was intense, his lips were slightly chapped and pressed against hers hungrily. She knew that she was taking advantage of him. He was an emotional creature that craved human contact but had denied it to himself for so long that any intimacy was almost impossible for him to fight. Her arms crept around his shoulders and she felt his muscles writhe beneath his skin. His hands clutched at her sides and she heard the fabric of her tank-top rip beneath his fingers. She pulled back from his lips gasping for a breath she hadn't realized she needed. Bruce buried his face against her neck pulling her on top of him and held her with an iron grip, not allowing her room to move away from him at all.

"I'm sorry Bruce." She murmured against the top of his head presses small kisses to his hair as he continued to hold her. "I'm sorry I didn't go after you. I'm sorry I made you fight a fight you didn't believe in. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She punctuated each apology with a soft kiss.

Bruce began speaking but she couldn't make out the muffled words spoken against the crook of her neck.

She pulled his head away from her and smoothed his hair back from his forehead gently. Dark fire swarmed behind his brown eyes as he looked on her face.

"I think that we're going around in circles." His voice was no more than a whisper.

Raising one eyebrow in question he continued with a little more confidence in his voice, "Ever since I got back we've been like this, one of us wants to talk and the other wants to avoid the problem. Don't look at me like that I'm talking about myself too." She was slightly surprised that he had noticed her budding reproach. "We are far more alike than even you know."

"In what ways?"

"We are both people of intense feeling. We run towards each other's fire because only we could understand what it is to deny our humanity." His hands rubbed her back soothingly and she realized that she had stopped breathing. "We are both running from what we were made to be and we both believe that the fault of dark side lies with us though everyone tells us otherwise."

In the short span of silence Natasha picked up, "We have both been forced to fight in a war we don't believe in."

He made a questioning noise so she clarified, "My war was back in Russia, but I think that another one is coming for us. All of us."

"You're referring to the Superhero Registration Act, yes?" She nodded. "What side do you think is right?"

He had loosened his grip on her waist enough for her to pull back and look at his face. Tracing the line of his T-shirt she took her time in responding.

"I don't think it's all that simple, it's not so clear cut as one side is right and one side is wrong. There are plenty of reasons for people to believe in the Registration, but I can completely understand why many will object to becoming public figureheads and blowing all their covers. I can speak from experience on giving away all one's covers that it is not pleasant."

"But you personally think that the Act is a good idea." It wasn't a question. Natasha didn't reply to the statement, she simply stated in return, "And you think it isn't."

He grimaced slightly and shook his head slightly. "Like you said, it isn't that clear cut. I don't want to go on some government payroll and be forced to become The Other Guy at some politician's beck and call. It was one thing to have Code Green with the team because you are all people I would want to protect if you got in too deep, not that I wouldn't want to protect the general populace but I don't think that Washington would understand my trepidation in 'hulking out.' But I do agree with them that we should be held responsible for the damages we cause."

Natasha smiled down at him, "I think we got off topic." He huffed and smiled back at her making her heart jump.

"Politics have a way of worming their way into any conversation." He let her go completely and she rolled to the side of the bed, sitting up and stretching. She could feel Bruce's gaze on her back as her shirt rode up. Not wanting to scare him off completely she pulled it back down and stood up slowly feeling the warmth of the already risen sun on her skin through the high-placed windows.

"Do you eat breakfast?" She asked as the sound of the sheets rustling told her Bruce was getting up as well.

"Yeah, I can make you some crepes if you like?" Natasha turned sharply and a look of pure shock crossed her face. Bruce felt a flash of nervousness as she stared him down.

"You can cook." She sounded morose as she said it. Confused he made his way towards the door and opened it gesturing for her to follow him out. They made their way to the kitchenette on his floor, probably the only one in the entire building that was in regular use. He pulled out the skillet and turned on the stovetop going over to the cupboards to begin mixing ingredients. Natasha's soft tread behind him was comforting as he began what had become a morning routine for Tony and himself. Crepes were one of Bruce's favorite breakfast and he was pretty sure that Tony no longer had taste buds but he always gave him compliments on his cooking all the same.

"I wish I had known." Bruce looked over his shoulder at the red-head leaning against the bar her arms folded across her stomach. She looked up at him and gave him a half sort of smile. "I would've made you cook for me all the time."

"You mean Natasha Romanoff would've taken advantage of me!" They shared a smile. "I'd never believe it possible that I could fall for your beguiling ways."

Natasha made her way over to his right side and rested her forearms on the counter looking up at him flirtatiously through her eyelashes. Trying not to look down as her top curved lower he began to spread the strawberries and bananas over the almost finished crepe. "I hope that you don't mind sweet crepes, they're my favorite and I don't have much else left, I need to go grocery shopping." Natasha began to laugh and he put down his spatula to watch her face light up.

"I'm imagining you as a regular house-spouse in your apron and discussing your favorite china pattern." She kept laughing placing a hand on his arm as he began to laugh with her.

Bewildered Bruce turned over the crepe onto a plate he had set out and went to reach for the powdered sugar. "House-spouse, Natasha? Really?" Apparently he had moved the sugar somewhere and he stood up on his tiptoes to try and get to the back of the top shelf. His concentration was broken however when a pair of small hands began to touch the exposed skin of his sides as his button-up shirt had ridden up.

"And you say that I'm the one with beguiling ways. Bruce, you have no idea," he had found the jar of sugar and as he lowered himself back to the floor Natasha wrapped her arms around him in a warm embrace. "The effect you can have."

"What?"

There was no response but he could feel her press her head between his shoulder blades. It had been so long since Bruce had the company of another human being, one that he could talk to and one who wanted to talk with him. There had never been someone like Natasha. Not even Betty, with Betty things had always been tainted by the Other Guy, both of them seeing him as something separate and evil. Natasha had seen how Hulk and Bruce were one and even after he had attacked her and nearly killed her she had seen the good in him. She was the first woman in years that he had allowed himself to grow close to, Nat was the first woman who wanted him to.

Bruce finished the plate and Natasha let him go to snatch her food. She moaned in pleasure as she ate the first bite. "Bruce you are not allowed to go to the lab in the morning until you have made me breakfast." He felt a tug in his chest at her words. He wasn't sure if she meant that they would be sleeping together, just sleeping that is, he definitely wasn't ready for much more than that yet. Thinking about waking up to her every morning, slow lazy mornings with coffee and hot breakfasts.

It sounded perfect.

Bruce finished his meal and moved to sit at the bar next to Natasha. She looked happier than he'd seen her in a long time, she was swinging her legs on the stool and rhythmically bumping his in the process and if he wasn't mistaken she was humming very softly under her breath.

Shaking his head in amusement at her slight antics he teased her, "If I'd know that all it would take is a fruit crepe to get this sort of reaction... I don't know what I would've done with you."

Swallowing the rather large bite in her mouth she smirked and replied saucily, "I have all sorts of ideas of things you could do with me." She loved watching his nervousness when she flirted with him. It made her heart flutter to see him redden and become all fumbling and bashful.

Bruce looked over at her and smiled nervously, just to give himself something to do he picked up her empty plate and went over to the sink to wash it, leaving his unfinished breakfast on the bar. He could hear her chuckle at his awkward get away and when he returned to the bar he found his crepe gone, Natasha licking her lips to get rid of some of the evidence.

Now it was her turn to blush faintly. "You're too good a cook Bruce."

After cleaning up from breakfast there was a moment of silence before Bruce kissed Natasha softly. Resting his forehead on hers she smiled at him her eyes sparkling, "I should get down to the lab and get to work."

"You'd better Doctor Banner. You've got a date tonight." Natasha straightened the collar on his shirt and rucked it up slightly.

"I do?" Bruce couldn't remember a time where he had felt lighter in spirit than that morning.

Nat pulled back and sashayed back down the hallway calling over her shoulder, "8 o'clock, the lobby, don't keep a lady waiting."

"Never." Pretty certain that she hadn't heard him he made his way down to the lab. Tony wasn't there but FRIDAY informed him that he had to attend to an injury from a failed experiment. Trying to concentrate on the molecular equations in front of him Bruce readjusted his glasses and dove into the work that he hadn't even realized he had missed.

* * *

AN- I hope you enjoyed it!


	14. Chapter 14

CH. 14

-Bruce-

"So you made up then."

"Hmm?"

The sky was beginning to cloud over, black wall clouds could be seen in the distance. Bruce's morning had been peaceful, a quiet breakfast with Natasha and then he had gone down to make tea and had chatted with Vision about temperature and how it affects ones mouth when drinking a hot beverage. Wanda had skirted around them, flashing Vision a kind smile and lowering her head when she saw Brue standing next to him. If he had been a betting man he would've taken up Maria's offer to place money on how long it would take them to get together. So far almost the whole team had taken bets, with the shortest time span being Thor's three weeks and the longest being Natasha's guess of eight months.

"You're humming." Tony looked at him accusingly. Bruce shrugged and took another sip of his now lukewarm tea.

"I hum a lot Tony, I can stop if it's bothering you." The papers before him had him chewing on the end of his pen in concentration so it surprised him to look up and find Tony close to his shoulder, a smug grin on his face.

"Yes, but never a Russian lullaby." Bruce chuckled. Tony fancied himself to be some sort of great sleuth, always finding things out about the rest of the team through dubious means. Bruce was fairly certain he had not been humming a Russian lullaby, rather Tony hadn't gotten his breakfast and when FRIDAY told him where Bruce was, on Natasha's floor, he had put two and two together. Before FRIDAY, JARVIS had been the one to tell Tony team whereabouts and he had always seemed to have some sort of discretion because Tony was never in loop as much as he was now. Bruce personally thought he was trying to compensate for being on a team with two of the world's best spies.

"You know that it takes more than asking an AI to check up on people to keep up with the likes of Clint and Nat."

"I know," Tony drank what was left of Bruce's tea and made a face. "You actually drink this stuff?"

"It's called tea, and yes I do."

Tony shuddered and moved back to the middle of the lab where he worked best. The desk that Bruce typically worked he had shoved back into a corner that was largely out of the way of any stray projectiles. He had a burn on his upper arm where that case hadn't happened but there had been some new rules added to the lab agreement since then which kept him slightly more at ease. Luckily the morning in the lab was eventful enough to keep himself distracted from stewing about this date with Natasha like he normally would. There was no way with the stench coming from whatever Tony was up to for anyone to really concentrate on anything.

* * *

-Natasha-

The ceiling had exactly 14 and 1/4th tiles. The dark wooden dresser on the wall had four knotholes that she could see. The back of the door had five chips in it from various articles being thrown at it, some had made less satisfactory dents than others. The end must be coming soon because this simply did not happen. Because Natasha Romanoff did not worry about what she was going to wear on a date, and if someone had asked her she would have told them that she wasn't, but, as evidence to the contrary, every article of clothing she owned was lying on the floor around her. In her efforts not to think about it she familiarized herself with the details of her room. Most of the time she saved the routine for after missions but her mind was behaving unnaturally and she wanted to bring is back down to earth, not living in a drama. Looking over her options again, there actually wasn't much. There was a classic little black dress, a couple pairs of dark wash jeans, some nice tops, a few skirts; varying in length, and nothing that she liked. She huffed to herself slightly, mainly frustrated that she was having this problem at all. Hundreds of men had thrown themselves at her feet over the years. Bruce wasn't that different from any of them, she'd been with scientists before, and they weren't all that complicated. Bat a few eyelashes, mention the second law of thermodynamics and they were on her leash. Natasha knew that Bruce was a typical man and wouldn't notice what she was wearing, only the skin that was showing, so for both their sakes she grabbed a navy tunic and paired it with dark jeggings. She laid it on the bed and nodded in approval before moving to pick up the mess she had created. If the night went well she fully intended to have the doctor in her bed again. It had been so long since the last reprieve from her nightmares and waking to find a warm body to settle her racing heart had helped more than she had anticipated.

As she started tossing her shoes back in the closet the sound of her phone vibrating shot a cold tingle down her spine. The phone made an irritating buzzing against the wood of the table, but it wasn't nearly as irritating as what the caller wanted.

"Romanoff," Nick's voice sounded keyed up and that was never a good beginning to their conversations. "Natasha I need you to come in." She left him with silence and studied one of the knotholes beneath the varnish in further detail. Nick sighed, not wanting to play her games. "The committee needs that report now, you can't keep stalling. Rodgers gave his three days ago what's holding you up?"

Giving one more wistful glance at the outfit on the bed and thought for a moment about all that it symbolized. Dates, dinner, small talk, easy living, taking things slow. Resigning herself to the life that she was living she knew that none of that was for her.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes." Folding the clothes gently Natasha placed them back in their drawers shutting them away along with the hope that had started to form in her chest. Swiping her flash-drive off of the counter as she left she shot Bruce a quick text: _Got called in, nothing serious. Rain check?_

Not expecting him to reply while he was in his science playground with Tony, Nat made her way down to the garage of the tower and not for the first time wishing someone other than Tony picked the elevator music. There were only so many times that one could listen to "I am the Walrus" before going insane. Her bike almost made up for it though. Tony had acquiesced to making it for her and the sleek vehicle fit her personality perfectly. The engine purred like a cat as she rocketed onto the streets. Her helmet had an AI constantly giving her routes to avoid stopping as was her preference.

The day was beautiful, a gorgeous skyline of New York with dark clouds haunting the horizon and the wind was cool against her throat where her leather jacket didn't cover her. When she arrived at the new SHIELD headquarters she made her way down to the administrator's level. She spotted Sharon Carter and dashed over to say good morning.

"How're things?" Sharon smiled as Natasha approached, the two had ended up talking frequently on nights where Steve and Sharon had planned a date but Steve had been called away on a mission, which happened more than Sharon really liked.

Sharon blew her hair back from her forehead, "Steve and I had a lunch date but I had to cut it short because of this stupid data chart I have to finish." Natasha knew the feeling.

"I've got a meeting with Fury, but I'll catch you for coffee sometime soon." Sharon wished her well and was excited about their coffee plans. There weren't a lot of women in their line of work and it was nice to have at least one other to chat with on occasion.

Walking into Nick's office he was bent over the desk typing quickly.

"Take a seat." Natasha took the chair in front of his desk crossing her leg over the other, bouncing her foot as she waited for Fury to finish whatever he was doing. He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "Okay Romanoff," she knew that she was being recorded somewhere for referencing, "Rodgers gave me his report but I must say that it wasn't particularly helpful or insightful. You showed slight reluctance when I told you this job and I hope that you have changed your mind. Otherwise things will be difficult in the near future." Fury backed up away from his desk walking around to sit on the edge, providing himself with a dominant posture over her. It was a technique that was part of her training as a child and she was fairly sure that Nick didn't even know when he did it anymore. He continued his voice lowering somewhat "Now tell me Romanoff, what is the status Bruce Banner that you have observed? Your last report stated that you would be continuing the romantic aspect to keep him off guard as you did before he disappeared, is that how you have proceeded."

"Yes I am continuing the romantic line going, he is of the type believe love and trust go hand in hand so I thought it best to keep up pretenses with him. Banner is unaware of my reports. I have most of my observations on this flash-drive." She tossed it to him and he caught it adeptly. "They are saved onto an excel document with data on his daily habits. I have been able to take his pulse under high-pressure situation and his control is coming back, not yet what it was before he left but I believe that his body is still recovering from being so out of control for so long when we found him." Fury nodded in agreement.

"That is what you're to focus on, get him back to where he was, use the lullaby or get something better." Nick was looking through the data she had on his computer. "I want to know what he can handle. Have you tried sex?"

"No." Nat was used to this line of questioning. In the Red Room there were no secrets for the Black Widows. They had never known privacy, and in Natasha's case she had never had a piece of her that hadn't been viewed as someone else's business. There were days where she wondered whether she was a human or a machine, not because of the horrors she had committed but because of the way people assumed that they had the right to know everything about her.

Fury nodded and folded his hands on top of the desk. "Doctor Banner is in danger of being taken and used by hostile forces…"

"And we need to learn to control him before anyone else can." Natasha finished. Fury was in danger of being repetitive to the point of irritation. She had heard this speech many times in the past. This was the speech that inspired her to work on the lullaby, but it was losing its inspirational qualities.

She got up to leave and Nick left her with his last reminder. "Banner can never know what you are doing Natasha. You remember how he reacted when he learned we were tracking him in Calcutta and his reaction to the container designed for him on the heli-carrier."

Natasha smiled over her shoulder at Nick, "He'll think exactly what I want him to think. And right now that is that he is forgiven and on the verge of a romantic relationship with a woman who he considers out of his league. Believe me, the last thing he is thinking about is what I'm using him for."

"And what are you using him for?" Her superiors were always surprised when she had agendas of her own, which got under her skin like nothing else.

Looking down at the floor and twisting her expression into one of slight embarrassment, she replied, the lie coming out smooth as silk, "It's nice to sleep without nightmares and I plan on taking advantage of that."

Nick laughed, "Don't get too used to it, you know how this ends." Natasha took that as her dismissal. Making her way out of the building she checked her phone to see a text from Bruce, _No problem, I will see you in the morning for breakfast._

The knife that was perpetually stuck in her heart twisted as she read his words remembering when she told him that he had to cook her breakfast every morning. Just one more cover. Reaching her bike she pulled herself onto it and set the destination. She didn't need to deal with Bruce's questions on why she had returned so early so she headed to the only place where she knew no one would ask her any questions, "Take me to the farm."

* * *

-Bruce-

"I think that I should thank you." There was a flurry of papers in the air after the comment informing Bruce that Tony hadn't heard him come back in the lab from getting lunch. It wasn't a terribly uncommon occurrence, the papers, however, were not status quo. Tony preferred to work on screens or with his robot helpers than actually write things down. Bending down he only saw a few lines of equations with protactinium.

"What are you researching gamma radiation for?" Tony snatched the papers from his hands quickly and tossed them on one of the counters. It was then Bruce registered how quiet Tony was. His hair was not in its usual spikey disarray rather lying flat against his skull and his beard had not been shaved into its signature stylings either.

"You were saying thank you. And you're welcome."

"Tony what's going on?" Stark turned to face him slowly.

"FRIDAY show Doctor Banner drive 633." Immediately numbers and equations were thrown onto the screen next to him and as he read he couldn't believe his eyes.

"Tony are you sure?"

He smirked in response. "There's only one way to find out."

Bruce checked his phone to see if Natasha had texted him back but was met with the blank screen. Trying not to think about how much he wanted to talk to her, he threw himself into the work with Tony and prayed to whatever god might be listening, that it would work.

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AN- I'd love to know what you think! Where I'm taking this is NOT Marvel compliant! I just had an idea and wanted to go with it. Let me know how you like it!

-Anya

Review!


	15. Chapter 15

AN- Thank you for your reviews! To answer any questions, read this chapter, I tried to make some things regarding Natasha clearer. Last chapter should have seemed a bit out of left field since she is the world's second best spy after Fury. Now on with chapter fifteen! It is kind of dark at the beginning, nothing worse than what could've been in the movies.

* * *

Ch. 15

 _Bruce was leaning against the railing of the staircase as she rounded the corner. The yellow lighting in the stairwell made his skin look even darker and gave his eyes a strange gleam. An uncharacteristic grin flashed across his face as he saw her._

" _Come here often?"_

 _Natasha was sure that she was mistaken, because it sure as hell sounded as though Bruce Banner was flirting with her. Without missing a beat she gave him her best sultry smile and ran her hand down the railing slowly walking down towards him, light dancing in her eyes."Just to dance."_

 _With a smile that was more natural to him now he replied, "Well it would be a shame to let a pretty lady like you sit on the side by yourself." He hauled himself to his feet and held out his hand to her. "Care to dance gorgeous?" Blood rushed to her cheeks and the urge to bashfully look at the ground passed over. Nat had never seen this side of Bruce before and, damn! She liked it. Taking his hand he led her down the remaining steps to the landing._

" _Jarvis?"_

" _Yes, Doctor Banner?" Bruce pulled Natasha closer to him and smiled down at her softly. The tenderness in his eyes nearly overwhelming her._

" _Some Cuban Jive please." His selection surprised her and she gave him an approving smile moving her hands up to find his as the music began to play. He danced cautiously. His technique was actually fairly good but even from the casual distance between them Nat could feel the tension that always seemed to radiate from him. When they attempted a dip, Natasha accidentally stepped on his foot eliciting an exaggerated groan of pain from Bruce._

" _Sloppy," Madame Kudrin's sharp voice cut through the music and the sound of a needle being pulled from a record stopped Natasha's movements. They were no longer in the stairwell of Stark Tower, they were together in a room surrounded by young girls in white ballet outfits. All of them sharing the same blank expression Natasha knew so well. "You should be doing better than this Natalia." Madame began to circle the pair of them. "How else could you complete the mission?"_

 _Mission? She didn't remember any mission. Bruce was smiling at her as though he could not hear Madame Kudrin or even see their audience. His hair was falling into his eyes and he moved his hand up to brush it aside when Nat felt the gun fly into her hand. As his hand moved away from his forehead where there had just been smooth tan skin there now ran a stream of blood. She turned around to bow to Madame when a large green hand wrapped around her neck and a deafening roar filled her ears._

" _You should have listened Natalia." Madame's lips curved up as Natasha's vision began to fade, Hulk's fist tightening around her throat. "Love is for children." The world went black and she heard, in another, more masculine voice, "You owe me a debt."_

The sheets were tangled around her legs she grasped at her neck in the sudden panic of waking. It was then she realized that she must have been screaming for some time because her throat hurt almost too much to speak. The light of the stars made their way into her room casting horizontal shadows on the wall. The dreams about Bruce killing her hadn't come up in a while, in fact, she hadn't had them since the battle of New York, too many other demons to worry her nights. A sound of one of the farm cats meowing outside made her tense and reach for the gun under her pillow. Brushing her hand across in comfortingly she pulled back her hand and sighed, trying to relax. Primarily her recent dreams had been those of losing him, and after she lost him they had been about finding him dead, or worse, telling her that he had been playing her the entire time. Of course this was largely to do with that her own sins always came back to haunt her in the most ironic ways. She sat up and leaned her elbows onto her crossed legs, holding her head in her hands. Her hair was wet with sweat and she could feel beads of perspiration trickling down her neck and underarms.

Everything had started with trying to erase her fear of the Hulk. Natasha could not submit to being afraid, it gave him a power over her that she refused to let him have. Of course now he had a different power over her that was directly correlated with trying to rid him of the first.

So she worked with him, they developed the lullaby, and then she began to notice his feelings for her. Natasha flirted with people, it was just one of those things, but with Bruce her flirting was something else, he sometimes would flirt back and other times he would become terribly shy. His awkward manner soon enough had her noticing the fluttery feeling in her stomach whenever he would tease her, and also the worry that would start when he wouldn't.

Laying back onto her side she jerked her head up as the pillow was wet, apparently she had been crying too. She sighed and her breath caught faintly. Admitting her feelings for the man to herself and then eventually to him had actually been the easy part to her ultimate surprise, she thought angrily. The hardest part was yet to come. With the mission Nick had assigned her, one day she would be called to act like those feelings were fake when given the order to leave Bruce behind. To Fury, and to most of the team, she was a cold-hearted killer who was above nothing and capable of everything. The one person who did not see her this way was Bruce and they all knew it. Nick wanted to utilize this which let to their whirlwind romance when Ultron went on a rampage. If she was honest though, the order to control the Hulk had morphed into something out of her control, as love and fear always did. That would at least explain the reappearance of Madame Kudrin in her nightmare.

It had been many years since Natasha had felt this vulnerable, since she had known herself to be this alone. She couldn't talk to Bruce about it. As long as her own plan when correctly he would never know that Fury ever had her on any sort of mission and Fury would never have the chance to do anything to stop her. Naturally this plan of hers was very rudimentary and she didn't have much hope for it, but a small hope was better than no hope at all.

Steve was out as he really didn't get the whole being brainwashed and living a lie thing, though he really should with friends such as herself, Bucky, and Clint.

Curling up around her pillow she kept going over her very short list of friends and allies in her mind.

Of course, she could go and talk with Clint. They had discussed the letters again and had made their peace, understanding where both of them were coming from. Just thinking about the letters elicited a strong throb under her ribcage. She whimpered quietly and a single tear made its way down onto her pillow. Always her pain was a product of her own misfortune.

She had been at the Barton's for three days. Laura was thrilled to have another adult woman to talk to and had shooed Clint to the barn for the first day of her stay. As soon as Clint had left the vicinity she had said, "Do you want some of my cheese scones?" This was Laura's version of: do you want to talk about it? Instead of rejecting the offer outright she had smiled at her kindness and said, "Maybe later."

The truth of the matter was that Natasha wasn't sure what she even wanted to talk about. Her budding relationship with Bruce, the classified mission she was on, or how she wasn't sure what was a lie and what was the truth anymore when it came to one Bruce Banner.

Looking at the clock it read 2:18 AM so she could get three or four more hours of sleep before the noise of life on the farm would prevent it to continue. As much as she loved Clint and his family she couldn't ever live like they did for the long term.

Unable to return to her slumber she swung her legs over the side of the bed and gasped as her feet touched to cold wood floor. It was autumn Missouri and the trees were painted in rich colors of gold and crimson. Growing up she hadn't gotten to truly appreciate anything about nature or the world around her, travelling with Clint had helped her appreciate some of the finer things in nature.

She leaned over to the bedside table and picked up her phone and i-pod. There was a new message from Bruce: _Be glad you weren't here for movie night!_ It was accompanied by a photo of Tony sitting on Steve's head and Maria in the background laughing hysterically.

Pushing the buds in her ears she scrolled through her playlists and reached one that she had made a few months ago titled Adore. As she pressed play on the first song and the music of Carmen filled her ears Natasha closed her eyes letting her favorite fantasy cloud over her mind. She was in a small townhouse in Manhattan and Bruce was cooking her breakfast. The dream had taken many different turns since the first time she had imagined it. Now she could even see the yellow walls of the kitchen and the bright lilies growing in their tiny backyard. She was laughing at something Bruce had said, they were kissing lazily on the sofa, and on Wednesday nights they ordered pizza and ate on the carpet of their living room. Most importantly there was no SHIELD, no spying, no war, and no person trying to destroy the world. There was only Bruce and Natasha Banner living their lives the way they wanted to, in a world that they had made safe.

* * *

-Laura-

Clint had built the bedrooms with soundproof walls. This didn't stop the sound of screaming from carrying through beneath the door of Natasha's room. Fortunately Clint had made the doors to the kids' rooms filled with sound absorbing fiber so they wouldn't wake from his own nightmares. She found it odd though, Natasha was usually silent when she had her nightmares. Once a few years ago she had fallen asleep on their couch in the living room and the only reason Laura had known that something was wrong was the sheen of sweat covering Natasha's face.

She could feel Clint's breath on the back of her neck and his arms tightened around her waist.

"You awake?" he mumbled quietly.

"Yeah, should I go make her some tea?" Clint pulled her even closer and she laughed softly as he nuzzled his nose into the crook of her neck.

"No, if Nat wants company she'll go downstairs. I'll hear her if that's the case and hopefully I can manage a cup of tea." Doubting his ability to actually find the tea in the kitchen Laura nestled down into the covers and eased herself back to sleep.

* * *

-Natasha-

The barn door was propped open and she could hear Clint shuffling around in the straw. He had always loved being outside and building things. Laura had told her that when they were in high school together he had skipped most of his classes to go and hang out with the groundskeeper who had turned out to be a SHIELD agent who had recommended Clint to Fury.

"Are you going to wear a hole in the ground or are you going to come in and talk to me?" Nat sighed and made her way into the barn, the dust made blades of yellow light in the cracks of the walls.

Their relationship was one of a brusque nature so she wasted no more time getting to the point. "Do you know what I'm going to ask?" Clint scratched the back of his head with his wrench.

"Well since it has been five days since I gave you the letters and left you alone with Bruce my guess is that you are here to have me tell you that yes, Bruce Banner is the best thing that has happened in your life for a good long time." A sick feeling welled up in her gut. Patting her on the shoulder good-naturedly, "Knock yourselves out! Be sure to make me your maid of honor, I'd be crushed if you choose someone else." He chuckled at his own joke and moved around her towards his tool bench. Muttering to himself about measurements for the dining room he almost missed the silence coming from Natasha. Looking over his shoulder he was met with the sight of an empty barn. Confused he thought back over the conversation they had just had. She had come and rambled around outside for about half an hour before he had heard her finally approach the barn, which wasn't like Nat, she didn't usually avoid her problems when they happened. Then he had brought up Bruce, and he had been honest, the doctor really was the best thing that had come Nat's way in a long time. So why was she…

"Shit!" He threw down his tools and ran from the barn, the sound of her motorcycle engine started up and he barely caught a glimpse of her as she raced away down the lane. Clint sprinted to the garage and jumped into the car. The keys were always left inside in case of an emergency. Pulling out his phone he dialed Laura.

"Clint?"

"Hey honey, don't get mad but Nat just took off and I'm going after her." There was a heartbeat of silence on the other end.

"She was just in here and grabbed a notebook and pen and then was gone before I could so much as say goodbye!" Not knowing what else to say as he concentrated on dodging the road's potholes he had been meaning to fill for months Laura ended the call for him. "Be safe."

He hung up and barreled down the lane after her, the dust trail would keep him on the right path for a while at least.

* * *

-Bruce-

"If this doesn't work then we are going to go and burn down a park bench."

Not sure if Tony was kidding or not Bruce proceeded cautiously, "And how would that help?"

Tony shrugged, "I don't know about you, but fire is inspirational and vandalism gets the adrenaline going. So actually we should've done it before." Bruce chuckled and moved to screen four typing in some adjustments to the equation they had been working on.

"Let's let it smooth out for a couple hours." He put down the tablet in his hands and pulled his phone out of his back pocket. He'd been checking every few minutes since daybreak hoping for news when Nat would get back from her mission. Tony had gotten on his case about it but he couldn't help himself. Sleep had not come for him the last few nights, but he had punched his pillow plenty of times trying not to think about how it felt to sleep next to Natasha. For God's sake it had only been one night.

Tossing his phone onto the counter he made his way out of the lab yawning widely. Maybe he could watch some Bonanza reruns and ease himself to sleep before the AI finished running its tests. He took his leather-bound notebook with him, it was his ongoing project of a universal machine, a machine that could think and react to stimuli. The project had started just after his mistake with the gamma radiation as a possible alternative to Tony's Veronica. Sitting down in his apartment he turned on the television and started the third season of Bonanza letting himself get hooked in the wild goings on of the family.

Absentmindedly he jotted some notes in his journal, moving slowly through the equations and methodically. At some point during the episode Pepper had joined him on the other side of the sofa. She looked like she had just been through hell, her hair was pulled back sharply and her eyes were red rimmed and blood-shot as though she hadn't slept in days.

"Do you want me to turn it down?" Pepper looked startled at the interruption jumping slightly as he spoke. She smiled wide eyed at the doctor and shook her head.

"I'm not sure any of it is registering anyway." She arched her back slightly and winced as she heard something pop. "What I should do is go to sleep." Empathizing entirely Bruce gave her a small smile.

"If it helps, sometimes I try reading children's books to get to sleep." They laughed together and Pepper thanked him giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze as she left the room.

Bruce checked his phone again for any messages. Unfortunately Tony was the only one and he had sent four texts telling him to get back up to the lab before he blew it up in very colorful language.

Leaving the episode running on the television he groaned and cracked his back as he stood up. "You're getting too old for these kids Banner. " He muttered to himself turning to go back up to lab, hopefully in time to stop Tony from burning anything he might regret. Before he forgot he sent a text to Natasha:

 _Missing you, it's not easy to sleep without you. Come home soon. –Love, Bruce_

* * *

Meanwhile, hundreds of miles away, the beautiful woman he couldn't stop thinking about was taking out a leaf of paper, and as tears spiraled down her cheeks she penned in a shaky hand,

 _Dear Bruce,_

* * *

AN- Love your reviews! Especially for last chapter! They were wonderful really, they helped me write this one a lot easier! More reviews would be lovely!

-Anya


	16. Chapter 16

-AN- Thank you to the reviewer that FINALLY asked what Bruce and Tony were up to! I was getting worried that no one had noticed. Anyway sorry for the delay but I needed to get this chapter right for what I have planned. I put some fluff in this chapter so you have been warned if that's not your thing.

* * *

Ch. 16

-Natasha-

She hadn't gotten any farther than _I love you_ before a pair of callused hands were gently cupping hers and pulling her hand back from the page and the other taking the paper away from her.

"NO!" she lunged for the paper but Clint merely pushed her away and she must have been far more compromised than she had known for she fell straight on her ass. Not even attempting to get up again Clint left her there for a moment while he read the beginning of her letter.

Turning to face her he tucked the page in his pocket, "Talk Nat." Confused she gave him a questioning look.

"You've read…"

"Yes, and you are not your lover. You would never write a letter if it weren't for some serious shit that you don't understand. Now talk. Talk to me like I'm Banner."

"Clint don't…."

"Go on Nat, 'Bruce I have been meaning to tell you…" he gestured for her to complete the sentence. Hatred boiled up in her throat and spilled out of her lips.

"You are a fool to have ever trusted me. I'm nothing but a…."

Clint's hand closed over her mouth and he glared at her. "If you do that again we are going to do this the hard way. I'm not Banner, I don't have the patience of Job, now go." A crow decided that it was the opportune moment to insert his opinion to and Clint shooed him off giving Natasha a few seconds to collect herself.

She could tell him that it was just too hard. That she wasn't sure she was ready for the type of relationship Bruce wanted. Predictably this would bring out the big-brother Clint and he would comfort her and tell her that she should go and talk it through with Banner.

Or she could say that her greatest fear had just come to life and she was going through some serious anxiety.

The clock was ticking, Clint wouldn't wait forever for her to answer. Scrambling her thoughts together Natasha tried to do what she did best, come up with a lie that would be preferable to the truth.

As she bowed her head the words flowed from her lips unbidden by her conscious thought. "I have been spying on him. Reporting his patterns, habits, weaknesses and strengths to Director Fury. I don't think he would have cared and he actually probably tracks it himself, but I lied to him." So much for coming up with a great lie. But Clint knew her so well it most likely would not have worked anyway, and with him, a simple painful truth was much better than throwing him into her web. Clint continued to watch her, seeing her movements and calculating what her intentions were.

"So what is your plan? Leave before he can figure out what you've been up to?" Clint's tone made tears spring to her eyes. She dashed them away angrily, angry at herself for the self-pity washing over her.

"No."

"No?" He always knew when she was lying and she hated him for it. "You're lying to Bruce will be forgiven, he most likely assumed you would be doing something along these lines anyway, its only logical. But lying to me however, that is not going down well." His eyes were dark and drilled into hers for what seemed like hours when hadn't even been a minute.

"So what are you really hiding from Banner, and from me?"

"Bruce, he… I don't deserve him."

"Maybe you should let him decide that."

Unfortunately the trust between Bruce and herself went in the wrong directions. He trusted her completely, loved completely, while she afforded him little trust with him finding out about her past or telling him about her present. "If he knew he would let me walk away."

"Maybe… but you need to talk to him Nat."

She folded her arms and knew that he was right. "So what do you suggest I do?" He averted his gaze finally. "Exactly. There is only one solution Clint."

"Leaving?" Shaking his head he put his hand on the side of her face. "Natasha this isn't like you. What is going on? You never run away from your problems." When she didn't respond he moved away a bit to give her room to think. The silence stretched on and on and Clint noticed his legs going numb and the pins and needles were about to drive him crazy when she finally whispered.

"I've been compromised."

He sighed, they had been down this road of self-forgiveness many times before, "Nat."

"I've been trying to tell you." Her voice suddenly moved into an octave higher and was strained with panic. "I've got RED in my ledger." He began to speak but stopped as she continued. "I wasn't just referring to the people I've killed Clint. I've been trying to warn you."

* * *

-Bruce-

He had finally heard from Natasha, just a quick text saying that she would probably be returning that evening and she was craving popcorn in a serious way. Seeing her name pop up on his screen made him far happier than he had been lately

Making a mental note to get some popcorn for her kitchenette, and he supposed his as well as he still was uncertain what their arrangement would be that night. So much had happened since she had been called away Bruce kept trying to remember the things she would want to know. Maria had permanently moved into the tower, much to the chagrin of Nick who wanted to keep her away from Stark's influence. That had resulted in some interesting scenes at the shooting range in the basement, she had made four of the interns at the tower quit that very day. Rhodey and Tony had had another fight about militarizing the troops with suits and Rhodes now was staying the rest of the week with his brother in Philadelphia. When Rhodes had moved out Sam and Steve had decided it was the perfect opportunity to turn the upper floors of Stark Tower, which had never been fully restored, into a high-vaulted gym where Sam could practice fighting with the Falcon gear and when they shared their plans with Tony he had gotten behind them whole-heartedly. Wanda had begun a new friendship with Steve and the two were always seen talking and laughing together at meals. Even though he knew that Wanda was on their side now he couldn't make himself forgive the destruction she had made him do. There was always tension when they happened to pass one another alone and it left a sick feeling in his stomach thinking about what she was capable of.

Lately he hadn't had much time to see or talk to anyone who didn't live at the tower as Tony and himself were frequently spending all-nighters in the lab trying to finish their newest project. It had been tricky keeping it a secret from Maria who would have certainly told Fury. It was pure luck that Natasha had skipped town for a few days because she definitely would have noticed the secrecy surrounding Tony's main lab.

Tony and he had been working on a new veronica. The veronica to end veronica. If they succeeded… It could mean a lot more mental freedom for him. And that was the story that everyone knew and accepted because it was something that they all wanted. As Tony was constantly saying, probably because he thought it made him sound thoughtful, "Always give a lie that is preferable to the truth."

In reality what they were working on was, unfortunately, far more necessary and far less acceptable. Setting down his phone as Tony walked in talking about Veronica this and Veronica that, once he heard the name Peggy he knew it was go time. They had agreed on the code name from the get go in case someone walked in unannounced. Tapping a few keys he put the lab into what would appear to anyone watching or listening hibernation mode.

Tony rubbed his hands together and what could only be described as a gleeful smile lit up his face, "Let's play!"

Their notes and equations from the past three weeks came up on the screens around them, the decryption and wavelength frequency alignment system, their very own Enigma. The day's wires had all been taken down and decrypted showing up in a document on the center screen showing long lists of data regarding monetary transfers, agent placement, and any other classified SHIELD intelligence that they could intercept. There were days that Bruce could hardly believe what he was doing. Spy games had never been his thing, he was a doctor, a man of science, and here he was with Stark filtering all wireless communication going on through the agency that gave them a job. In the past week as things patched up with Natasha he had wanted to share with her what they were doing, she probably could have helped them with some of the decryption software that they had spent days developing.

"Hey! Lover boy!" Tony snapped his fingers at him and waved him over. "Got to get your head in the game."

"Please tell me that you did not just quote High School Musical at me." Bruce thought back to the painful weeks after Vision, Thor, Wanda, and surprisingly Tony had been introduced to the film at Clint's insistence. It had led to long hours trying to get Vision to stop singing about every mundane task that he did and an explanation on why that was not how humans typically ordered coffee. Whereas with Thor, it had begun the team's mini basketball training sessions with Sam and Steve. Midgardian sports were ever a fascination with Thor and on more than one occasion he had tried to teach them Asgardian sport but each time the people present suddenly remembered pressing engagements or injuries.

Bruce sipped his tea and continued to adjust their interception filter.

The numbers began to pause and jump on the computers. "They figured out that someone is trying to hack their system." Stark huffed and tossed some more blueberries into his mouth, chewing fiercely and watching the screens in front of him. He made tweaks to the decryption service and the data smoothed out once again.

"You will have to get out of the country eventually, you know that right? Tony?"

"I'm not worried about me. SHIELD will figure out it's us eventually, and how long do you think they will let the doctor they already see as a security threat roam around decoding their files?"

That was a situation they both could predict the ending to. In some of their messages they had found references to a contingency plan to capture and release the Hulk into outer space. Ironic really, considering at one time Banner had considered ending it for himself the same way.

A buzzing noise startled them both and Stark picked up his phone to see a message from Clint.  
"Bird-boy is going to come up to stay for the next couple weeks on Wednesday. FRIDAY, ready his nest."

"Yes. Mister Stark." If it was possible for an AI to sound exasperated FRIDAY certainly would.

The two of them continued to work in companionable silence the rest of the afternoon instead of confronting the axe looming over their heads, with frequent checks by Bruce of his mobile to see if maybe Natasha would give him a better clue as to when he could be expecting her.

* * *

-Natasha-

Clint was brushing the dirt off of his jeans as she pulled her hair back and walked over towards her bike. She couldn't deny that it felt better having finally told someone what had been plaguing her for months, but now came the harder part. Now that the secret had been shared with Clint, it would be all the harder to keep it from Bruce. Clint had agreed with her however, that for now the doctor needed to be kept in the dark, the whole team needed to be kept out of it. _"We can't take the risk of telling him. Or anyone else. I wish I didn't know. No, no, no don't get that way. You were about to combust if you didn't tell someone, I'm glad it was me."_

Together they got into their respective vehicles and with a curt nod Natasha took off.

"Computer, take me home."

She hoped that Bruce would be as understanding as Clint said he would be and she began strategizing the best way to tell him what she could without giving it all away.

* * *

-Later Bruce-

The only signal he had was the quick blink of the light in the window before he was tackled to the ground. His head slammed against a table leg and his limbs seemed to be bent in every direction. Pain blossomed just about everywhere but a pair of soft lips against his own distracted him quite nicely. Her body was hot, almost burning, and her hands gripped his wrists roughly as they continued to kiss. Trying to move his hand to her hair resulted in getting his hands held above his head and her lips left his to move down to his neck.

"I'm home." She smirked against him and he chuckled.

"Glad your back." Natasha then allowed him to turn them onto their sides. Her expression was one of contentment and she hummed softly as he stroked her hair back from her face. Tanned skin met creamy soft and she sighed into his touch. "When did you get here?"

Her smile brightened, "Three minutes ago." Suppressing a yawn Natasha curled her head into the crook of his neck and groaned tiredly.

Suddenly remembering he sat up quickly and pulled his phone out of his pocket typing the passcode hurriedly. Her bemused expression made him blush slightly but then she curled into his shoulder and he felt himself relax. "I made a list of all the things that happened that you might want to know about." Rubbing the back of his head he handed the phone to her as she chuckled at him. Merely glancing at the screen Natasha grinned wickedly at him and put the mobile on the floor her hair forming a red wall around them. Breathing in one another's air he found himself hypnotized by her sparkling green eyes. Pulling her arms up, he helped her to her feet, all of the hours of missing her and worrying suddenly seemed to weigh down on him.

"When was the last time you slept?" There were dark circles under her eyes and he could see the puffiness of her face now in the light. Her expression contorted into one of mockery.

"I'm not sure that you of all people get to chide me about a lack of sleep." He continued to look down at her while she pretended not to notice. Tugging on her hand he led her out of the lab. The hallway was empty and dark as they made their way to the elevator and up to her rooms. Bruce's suspicions of her sleep deprivation were only confirmed as he felt her head press against his arm as she dozed off on the way up. When the doors dinged open he felt her twitch awake.

Smiling at her stubbornness Bruce did something that probably could have gotten him killed, he picked Natasha up. He cradled her like a doll against his chest and her only reaction was to wrap her arms around his neck. As he placed her in her bed and pulled the covers over her shoulders she mumbled a complaint about needing to talk to him and kicked half-heartedly at the sheets. She was asleep before he so much as sat down on the mattress next to her. Gently pressing his lips against her forehead Bruce made his way back out of her room shutting the door tightly in the way she preferred.

He would wait to tell her in the morning that he was going out of country for a few days. She'd have to figure the rest out herself, and he had no doubt that she would.

* * *

AN- Again, apologies for the time it took me to write this! Reviews are most welcome and appreciated! And to the reviewer who asked for a sequel, I do have plans


	17. Chapter 17

AN- They talk in this chapter! Not about everything, but they talk! I've been writing this whole story by linking one small drabble to another and writing them in no particular order which is why it takes so long between some chapters. There are some links that need to be much longer than others. (Not to mention I just started college, YAY) *insert the cry of a hopeless student here*

Ch 17

Dawn always caught Natasha by surprise. It was the most familiar of miracles and for such a simple scientific event as the earth rotating, when the rosy hues flushed the sky with lavender and blue she had to stop and watch. For so long the beauty of the world had been hidden from her, behind the cloak of blood she draped around herself, coming home always allowed her to revel in the small things she had missed, like the sunrise.

Or of course fruit crepes, which she could smell cooking from outside her room.

"Bruce." She called out softly and she stretched and buried her face in the pillow realizing that he must not have slept there because all she could smell was her own scent of dirt and lemons. His quiet tread down the hallway made her heart clench slightly and she covered it by a bright smile on her face when he entered the room.

Patting the space beside her made him chuckle slightly and he obliged by kicking off his shoes and sliding down next to her on the mattress.

His breath was warm against her ear as he murmured, "Good morning," and pressed a soft kiss to her temple. The fabric of her t-shirt was irritating against her skin as the room seemed to have been neglected by the cooling vents.

"Why is it so hot in here?" Fanning herself Natasha rose and caught Bruce's eyes roam her exposed legs as she did. Rather than teasing him she held her smirk inside and checked the thermostat. "Who in their right mind would keep this place at 80 degrees in the summer?" Turning it back to the much more comfortable 60, Natasha hopped back onto the bed and pushed Bruce onto his back.

Their faces wound up being mere centimeters from one another, his eyes were soft there was a slight sheen of sweat on his upper lip which Nat had the urge to kiss away. Settling her head on his chest she heard him say something but before she could ask him to repeat she had nodded back off to sleep.

-Bruce-

"When SHIELD fell." Nat murmured.

"Hmm?" Bruce grunted groggily. Natasha was tracing light patterns on his chest with her fingers as she sighed contentedly.

"When I flirted with Steve. We kissed to throw off the agents who were looking for us." Bruce shifted, "I'm assuming that's what you meant by 'up close?'" she propped her chin on his chest and looked at him, amusement in her eyes.

He grunted back his arms moving around her back. "I feel like an overprotective father." She laughed, "Don't tell me that you have a 'daddy' kink now." The wink she threw at him made him flush red.

"Definitely not."

"Good. Steve might. Or at least some sort of a thing for the Carter women."

"What?"

Pressing her hand against his shoulder to push him back against the bed she murmured lightly, "Nevermind."

After a few more moments she whispered again into his ear, "Stark used to flirt with me too, when he thought I was just a pair of legs on a nice looking ass."

"Is there anyone on the team who hasn't tried to get with you?"

Tipping her head to the side to think he smiled as she chewed her lower lip.

"Well, Clint, because he was married when I met him, unless you count when we would pretend to be a couple for missions, then he doesn't count. Rhodey, but mainly cause he's a nice guy and a little old for me." Thinking some more she remembered, "Oh, and Sam, mainly because I would totally kick his ass if he ever tried or possibly because he's got a thing for some receptionist."

She laughed with him, the smile on her face was soft and genuine.

"Any other questions you wanted answered?"

"Anything else you want to tell me?" he shot back with a smile. Her eyes grew sad suddenly but she didn't break eye contact. Pursing her lips Natasha pulled his hand from where he had been stroking her hair, bringing it in front of her, her small fingers traced the lines on his palm, green eyes showed her focus on the task of mapping his skin. Gently he folded her hands inside his but she only brought them to her lips and pressed a rough kiss to his knuckles.

"Natasha." Her eyes closed and he noticed how long her lashes were against her cheekbones.

-Natasha-

"I first killed a man when I was eleven." To his credit there was no change in his breathing, heart rate, and the content look on his face only softened more. "I first slept with a man for a mission when I was thirteen."

She nudged him with her knee signaling that this was not a one sided story telling.

Wondering what there was about him that she didn't already know he blurted out quickly, "I used to do my work with the motto of 'Leave your morals at the door'." This wasn't a surprise but it was rare that Bruce would even mention his work before SHIELD.

"I used to have a thing with Bucky." Bruce's eyes widened, "The memories were wiped at first but eventually these things always come back."

The silence in between was longer this time as he dug for something that she should know, "I'm the reason Betty is dead." He let go of her hands after a few moments, laying his arms flat against the bed.

"I tried to kill Clint four months after SHIELD took me on. It's not on record and I stayed with him and helped him heal afterwards."

"I've tried to kill myself on six separate occasions."

"I flirted with you because I was afraid of you."

"I've been keeping secrets."

"So have I."

The silence between the two of them stretched much longer than what was comfortable. Their noses were practically touching they laid so close to each other. Natasha sat up quickly and swung her legs over the edge of the bed, her feet dangling, barely brushing the carpet. The bed groaned as Bruce sat up behind her.

Taking the first step Natasha let the words spill out. The stream seemed unending, from being assigned to get close to him in case SHIELD needed to subdue the Hulk, to her most recent job of reporting his status to Fury. She was all of a sudden glad that Bruce had let go of her hands, she wasn't sure that she handled feeling his steady warmth as she revealed her dishonesty. Waiting for the sound of him rising to leave, she almost didn't register the sound of his laugh.

Whipping her head around, she saw the flash of his smile.

"Did you think that I didn't know that something was up? You're a spy Natasha, I knew that you would be reporting to Fury."

Warmth filled her chest and then she remembered his own admission.

"What have you been up to?"

Furrowing his brow, "It might be just as easy to show you." He held out his hand and they made their way down to the lab which was currently unoccupied, small blessings.

"Ever since HYDRA almost destroyed humanity as we know it through infiltrating SHIELD Tony and I have been thinking there has to be a way to have them held accountable and have their actions accessible otherwise what is to prevent it happening again, so we've been gathering, well, this."

The data and intercepted messages from what looked like months of work popped up around them. Highly classified information was everywhere for them to see. Natasha nodded and the expression on her face was almost more of relief than the anger he had been expecting.

"Doctor Banner, tell me that you haven't been intercepting and decrypting all of SHIELDS activities?

For some reason it seemed insane to think that Bruce could be called complicit. That he had been spying right alongside Stark, and for better or for worse, that fact changed her entire attitude toward the situation.

"Well… yeah I have." Back was the bashful expression. "Do you want to know how it works?" Sidling up to the virtual table of data Natasha flicked through a few folders and records before smirking up at him when she felt his presence by her shoulder.

"So you take the quantum field generator and reverse your own schematic to replace the wireless transmission with one of your own." Bruce's eyes were dark as he looked into her eyes. Smirking at him she bumped his hip with her own, "do you like it when I speak science jargon?"

His hands shot out and yanked her hips closer to him, "I love it when you talk nerdy to me." His voice was so deep it was almost a growl and a hot flash of heat went through her stomach.

Unbeknownst to them a third party had just walked in, "Oh God my ears!" Clint covered his head with his sweatshirt and ran from the room with a high step to rival Steve's.

"I was going to tell you that I had to leave the country." Natasha laughed openly at his bashful expression, "Yeah, kind of a stupid excuse." Ducking her head under his she pressed her lips to his. The kiss was sweet and passionate

"Terrible sorry to interrupt your morning Ms. Romanoff, Dr. Banner." The AI's voice truly did sound apologetic and they separated their intertwined legs with a laugh as FRIDAY continued. "There had been an emergency declared and the Avengers team has been called in for consultation."

"And eventual evac." Bruce muttered.

They made their way back up to her room and Nat threw him his jacket as she pulled off her shirt and shifted into the catsuit.

"Tell you what," Pulling the tights up her legs Bruce watched with a slightly amused expression, "when we get back, I was planning on visiting Clint and Laura, how about you come with me?"

She could see the worry lines forming on his face and the anxiety rolling up in his shoulders.

"And before you get too winded up, just know that Laura has been bugging me to bring you along sometime forever so you are very welcome by the Barton's." When she still didn't get a response she added, "That is, if you want to come."

Zipping up her suit Natasha looked over and Bruce had yet to pull on his left sock. He looked up at her and nodded, "That would be nice."

"Good, now hurry up with your shoes or Stark will make us take a cab."

-At new SHIELD headquarters-

"A situation has arisen."

"As always." Tony spun around in his chair and kicked his feet up on the table. Fury suppressed the urge to give up and go home. Or at least that was what Clint was pretty sure was going on in his head.

Walking to the other side of the table so that Stark was no longer in his line of vision Fury continued, "Our agents have been made aware of a hostile who is currently stalking their whereabouts. It is a woman in her early thirties," An image popped up on the screen of a rather nondescript female, "This is the newest photograph of her but she has been known in the past to go through surgery to change her appearance."

Taking off his glasses Fury tapped at the table, clearly debating his next move. "I'll be honest,"

Stark made a wild gesture of shock, knocking Steve's coffee off of the table and earning a glower from Hill.

"The woman infiltrated SHIELD seven months ago by posing as a new agent named Ella Browning. It took us six months to figure out that she had assumed a false identity and we still have yet to make a positive ID. She is currently in possession of highly classified and dangerous information and we need you to bring her in. Intelligence suggests that she won't put up much of a struggle."

Looking skeptically at him Clint piped up, "Do we want to know why?"

Shaking his head Fury replied, "We have reason to believe that she wants to be caught."

"I'm sorry, but this seems like a trivial assignment for the entire Avengers band." For once Stark made a good point.

Gesturing toward Natasha and Clint Fury stated, "Barton and Romanoff will go in on foot but we want them to be monitored and have you as back up in case something goes wrong."

"Is that likely?"

Nick's silence wasn't exactly reassuring.

"It's not impossible. Now, I want all of you back in this room to debrief in six hours. If you can't bring her quickly than we were wrong and need to start again. I'd prefer to abandon the mission rather than lose her."


	18. Chapter 18

AN- Don't hate me please! There is also mild violence in this chapter (nothing graphic) so you have been warned. Reviews are appreciated!

* * *

Ch. 18

Clint always liked prepping for missions, there was little conversation, people were focused inwardly and it gave him time to himself. Pulling the picture of Laura and the kids out of his pocket he set it on the ledge above him. Before he had left at the beginning of the week Lila had just learned how to ride her bike without training wheels and she had cried when he told her that he had to go again. Getting her to go to sleep that night had involved many lullabies and almost half of her collection of Geronimo Stilton books. After kissing her goodnight and giving Nathaniel one last kiss too he had gone to Cooper's room where he was playing Mario cart vigorously. Saying goodnight and goodbye to Cooper was always the hardest, not because he wouldn't let go, but because Laura and he could always hear him crying himself to sleep after Clint closed the door.

Now that he thought about it, maybe the prep wasn't all that great. This mission, if his hunch was correct, would be painful in different ways.

Folding the picture back into his pocket Clint made his way over to where Natasha was testing her tasers. They shared a glance and he could see the adrenaline running in her, the calm before the storm.

"You ready?" Sitting next to her and ticking off his arrows and explosives he knocked his knee against hers which earned him a smile. Placing her necklace in her locker her hand rested on the ledge with a white-knuckled grip.

"I never told Cooper how much I loved this necklace." The simple silver arrow had been his son's gift to Auntie Nat years ago, so long ago that Cooper probably didn't remember that he had given it to her. Still…

"I'm sure he knows," Clint gave her a half smile in return, "You wear it all the time."

 _(Flashback Clint Barton)_

" _I've been compromised."_

 _He sighed, they had been down this road of self-forgiveness many times before, "Nat."_

" _I've been trying to tell you." Her voice suddenly moved into an octave higher and was strained with panic. "I've got RED in my ledger." He began to speak but stopped as she continued. "I wasn't just referring to the people I've killed Clint. I've been trying to warn you."_

" _Belova." Clint remembered the name from some of the old case files he had gone through at SHIELD. Natasha nodded at him and for a second she let the fear she had been holding in the past few weeks show on her face, "She's back."_

" _And you need to take her out." She nodded and kicked the gravel beneath her feet._

" _She represents everything that I've tried so hard to put behind me. Ultron could have hurt me but Yelena can tear me down and rebuild me into the thing that I used to be." She twisted her hands in her lap angrily. "Fury has already sent spotters to monitor potential areas she might crop up at, when one of them pans out…" He could see the words catch in her throat, "I will go in and I will kill her." Even to herself she sounded less than convincing._

" _Fury says that you are comfortable with everything, but that isn't true, not anymore."_

" _Then what use am I, Clint? The only thing that made me a part of this team was because I was willing to do the things that no one else would dare to do. Morals keep me from doing my job."_

" _No." Clint took her in his arms and cradled her like he used to when she would wake from the Red Room and not remember that she was safe. "Morals are what separates you and Belova."_

Patting her shoulder he felt the need to remind her, "Remember what I said." Natasha's trademark smirk met him and he walked to the shuttle door with more confidence than the woman who was tailing him.

* * *

-Natasha-

It seemed like a terrible cliché coming to meet one's arch-enemy in a sketchy warehouse at night. _Because obviously that was an intelligent decision, Nashenka,_ she thought to herself as she silently slipped in through a hole in the base of the building. Feeling something soft beneath her toes Nat jerked her foot back to see the rat scurry away, its claws scratching the cement and probably giving away her entrance. Giving her eyes time to adjust Natasha knelt behind some abandoned crates and took out her radio com and turned it off. At least she could spare _them_ from hearing what was about to happen. There was a disgusting number of horror movie stereotypes: chains hanging from the walls, haunting graffiti, and off course the bust up abandoned vehicle from 1978.

Stealing her nerve Natasha forced her muscles to move into a low crouch. _"One breath at a time."_ Another deep breath and her hand let go of the lead pipe it had picked up. A second brought her right foot in front of her left.

 _Left, Right, Left, Right, Left…_ _you are Natasha Romanov. You are the Black Widow._

' _But you're not the only one.'_

Narrow steps led up to the second level, they looked out across the manufacturing floor of the building and Natasha could hear the whir of machines that echoed from her early childhood in Moscow, one of her only memories from before the Red Room.

 _Right, Left, Right, Pause, Listen, Hold your breath, Left, Right, Pause, Wait, Breathe…_

' _She knows you're here.'_

 _Left, Right, Left, and Halt._

There was no point in trying to sneak up on Yelena when the entirety of the past few months had been orchestrated by her. She knew that she was here. She knew that she would find her. The only thing left up to Natasha was how long she wanted to stall before bowing down to Yelena's final crescendo.

Without letting herself think about it Natasha kicked the nearest pipe and stood completely still as the ringing moved away from her and took her fear with it.

Just as she thought the pipes soon were ringing back at her. Climbing over the railing Natasha lowered herself onto the wide beams and began to strategize.

 _When she pulls out her belt find the weakest point in the piping and let it fall, then use the distraction to…_ But there was no more time for that.

A rather short woman was sitting on a conveyer belt with her legs propped up on the levers chewing bright pink gum and blowing bubbles.

"Natalia Alianovna." The gum made a sharp pop as it burst. Her lips curved upwards in a cruel smile her eyes sparkling in the way Natasha remembered.

"Yelena." She greeted solemnly, not bowing her head in turn. The old familiar feeling of teasing a rattlesnake welled up inside her and Natasha backed off assuming a more defensive position, hoping it would put Yelena at ease. "It's been a long time."

Pouting her lips Yelena whined, "Seventeen years." The hurt in her voice could have been fake, probably was given that at the same time Yelena made a show of a typical denial posture, paying great attention to her nails and flicking away some offending dirt beneath them disdainfully.

She cocked her head to the side, taking in Natasha's appearance. "I like the new look, very classic. Not at all like the boudoir you used to have." Natasha resisted the urge to back up again as Yelena stood from her chair and began pulling out an assortment of knives from her belt. She was too exposed. But too much of a defense would put her at Yelena's mercy.

"But then again you always did like the pretty things in life." The delicate dagger she pulled out had small rubies in the hilt.

"And you always did lean toward the dramatic." This earned her a laugh and a flash of silver caused her to flinch as the dagger buried itself into the wall behind her, nicking her bicep.

Natasha knew her mistake before the knife had even hit the wall. A classic distraction technique that she had toyed with herself. Because at the same moment a quick shot was fired and pain bloomed from her chest. Yelena's face glistened with delirious sweat and a triumphant smile.

"Do you remember the pain of it Natalia?" She didn't get too close as Natasha gasped and fell to her knees and focused on breathing.

 _Inhale, exhale, inhale…. Exhale_

"When they would whip us, and shock us, and we would run on broken glass?"

Her hands hit the ground as the room refused to stay in one position. _On your back Natalia._ The voice made her whimper as she rolled herself over so the blood flow would ease. The words were Madame's.

"Our toes would break from the dance and still we would curtsey and rise…"

With what strength she could muster Natasha spit in her direction and said, "Finish it." Yelena stilled in her pacing and brown eyes once again met green. "Do it." She gasped and she felt her body jerk as the shock started to invade her system.

Yelena's lips pouted. Shaking her head she knelt down by the fading red-head. She smoothed her hair back from Natasha's face and traced the lines down to her chin where she held a fast grip. "I'm disappointed in you Natashenka, you still don't understand." The last thing Natasha felt was Yelena's kiss on her forehead as the world faded to black.

* * *

 _Flashback- Nick Fury's office_

" _Come in Romanoff."_

 _The doors closed virtually silent behind her. Her heels clicked satisfyingly against the floor and a smug grin spread across her face, Nick shook his head and smiled at her antics._

" _There is something I need to ask you."_

 _The look on his face was grave, the sarcasm dried up from the room quickly. Taking a seat across from him she crossed her arms lightly over her stomach. There was only a few things that would have Fury call her in personally and she had assumed that it was merely for the usual Banner update, but the set of his shoulders told her otherwise._

" _What do you know about a woman, first name Yelena. She would have been in the Red Room during the same time as you." He clapped his hands and the screen on the side wall popped up revealing the image of a woman who appeared to be in her upper twenties with short brown hair and dark eyes. "She is fairly ordinary looking I know, but do you remember her? And if you do is this her?"_

 _When she didn't respond Nick continued to elaborate, "She had been behind three intelligence leaks and five assassinations in eastern Europe and Southeast Asia. The picture however doesn't match up with the descriptions and file photographs we have of her after the fall of the KGB."_

 _Natasha knew why they couldn't place her, "If the image you have was rotated a scar would show just before her ear from where her face has been altered between missions." She cleared her throat and rubbed her arm nervously, "Her eyes have also been chemically altered, I'm assuming your files list them as blue, but those are easily changed."_

" _We'll make note of the changes."_

" _It won't do you much good." A knot had formed in her gut as the image on the screen disappeared. "She'll be completely unrecognizable by next Tuesday. Maybe longer depending on how quickly she can make her way back to Hydra. She was taken by Hydra at the end of the Red Room, right?" Nick nodded slowly his brows furrowed telling her that he was bothered by how much she knew about the entire situation._

 _He rose from his seat and she followed suit and they made their way out of his office._

" _Our spies will be keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, but I'm rather pessimistic on our chances of locating her again._

" _And I don't think you need to worry about finding her." They paused and Nick asked why. Deciding on whether or not she should tell him Natasha gave in, "Did you see her neck?"_

 _His face only grew more confused._

" _She wasn't wearing a necklace. Yelena has always had a quirk that her veins are very close to the surface of her skin, and right at the base of her throat," Natasha touched the notch between her collar bones," her veins show in the shape of a heart. Trust me, she wanted you to find her."_

" _Why would she want us to know…"_

" _Because she knew that you would consult me." The fear in her stomach began making its icy path to her heart, "She's letting me know that she's coming for me. Coming to bring me home."_

* * *

-Clint-

Sitting in the waiting room with the worry of a millennia on his shoulders Clint wasn't so sure that he had given Nat the right advice. If he had offered to help her eliminate Belova he was sure that it would be nothing more than another mark on their already full ledgers, instead of sitting here waiting to hear if Natasha would ever wake up.

"It's not your fault Barton." Fury seemed to be trying to speak quietly but it never exactly worked for him. Eyes that had yet to shed tears gave him a cold glance.

It had been Steve who had found her. Lying in a pool of her own blood with a bright pink stain of lipstick on her forehead.

The director's mouth thinned out and he removed his sunglasses resting his hands on his hips. The authority that seemed to flow from him was beginning to make Clint sick.

"Belova has been a threat to us as long as Natasha has been. They graduated from the Red Room together. According to our sources they even tag teamed on many of their missions for the KGB." Two nurses ran down the hall by the waiting room and another doctor followed them even faster a few seconds later. Taking a deep breath Clint tried to control the shaking in his hands. If nothing else the rest of the team needed to keep themselves sane for Bruce's sake. When the com lines had gone dead, due to Nat turning them off, Banner had personally decided to brake his rule about remaining uninvolved and had run to the warehouse and finding Natasha broken and bleeding, carried her back to the tower. Ever since she had been wheeled away into the emergency room Banner refused to move from the seat in the waiting room where Tony had put him six hours ago.

* * *

-Bruce-

When Natasha had turned her com off there had been mild worry, as time went on and he realized that she had separated from Barton he became anxious. Tony had tried to pull him away when Steve came in holding her broken and bleeding body, but after giving him a new bruise on the jaw Bruce had been permitted to hold her for their mad flight back to the base. He had wrapped her chest to try and block the flow of blood but there was no telling how much she had lost before they had found her.

The trip to the hospital had been a blur, he knew that he was talking but no one seemed to be paying him any mind. The Other Guy had to be quieted down when the doctor's tried to pull her from his arms.

Now here he was left to wallow in his fear and guilt for not realizing that there was something wrong the minute she turned off the coms.

 _I should have been with her. I should have gone and helped. HE could have saved her. HE could have killed that bitch who did this to her._

"Beating yourself up won't solve anything." Steve stood next to him with his arms crossed over his chest and holding out a sketchy styrophoam cup of coffee. Nodding in thanks Bruce took the cup and grimaced as his taste buds objected to the strong drink. "Has there been any word?"

Steve shook his head and Bruce looked back to the floor, "They're not allowed to tell anyone but her next of kin what is happening." Steve stopped to drink his own black coffee, "That right now is Fury and no one has been to see him." The director was currently pacing in the back of the waiting room, wearing his tread into the carpet.

Tipping his head down Bruce shook out his hair and sighed dejectedly. There was no trace of Belova at the site. Barton had gone back to check and see if it would be possible to track her down but absolutely nothing was there, no foot marks, nothing broken, apart from what they could tell Natasha had broken when entering the building. 'She could be anywhere by now.' Clint had told them before putting his head in his hands and falling into silence.

 _Think of something positive._ Not his strongest suit to be sure but Bruce tried. Before he had left, there had been a day, during their programming of Ultron, where Natasha had come to his suite and they had laid on the couch for hours talking. He had given her a foot massage and her moans almost made him need to leave the room. Of course she had teased him about it later, but the memory of that intimacy made his heart clench.

Quickly making his way out of the room before the tears spilled from his eyes Bruce cried out a silent prayer,

 _Dear Natasha,_

 _Please… oh god please… I can't be here if you're gone… Oh God please…._


	19. Chapter 19 outtake

AN- So excited to see all of these new followers! I am sorry about the slow updates, I've started college and my time has been quite tied up. I have the rest of this story planned out so hopefully I will get it finished quickly I always love your reviews keep them coming!

* * *

Ch. 19

Karma was a bitch.

Smooth perfect skin was burning under his hands as he stroked her hair away from her face. The bullet had punctured her right lung and nicked a major artery. Outside of the gunshot she hadn't even required stiches apart from the cut on her shoulder.

The first thing that had relieved him was that the disturbing kiss on her forehead had been cleaned off.

The doctors were optimistic when they had last visited and assured him that her vitals were strong and that she was healing quite quickly.

Bruce knew that he was beginning to lose his mind. Trying to be strong was not what he did. He hid, he was self-controlled, he was always able to remove himself from the situation.

But not when it came to Natasha.

She had been in the hospital room for three days without waking, she was responding to stimuli though so it could be any time that she would finally open her eyes. At least that is what they kept telling him.

"Bruce." Stark walked into the room and immediately threw away the flowers sitting on the table and placed the fresh bouquet in their place. He put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "I'll stay with her while you sleep."

"I'm not leaving her Tony." Love was a promise, and he had promised to never leave her again. He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand and settled himself further into his chair. Tony only laughed at him.

"You don't need to leave her side Bruce and no one is going to make you, I sent for a CNA to bring a cot in here so you can finally get some rest, you haven't slept since it happened."

"I can hardly close my eyes before the dreams come." Bruce rubbed his eyes.

"Come on Big Guy." Tony grunted as he pulled Bruce to his feet and led him over to the cot that was being set up by some personnel. No sooner than his head hit the pillow Bruce was fast asleep.

* * *

-Tony-

Fifteen hours. Fifteen hours that man slept. His world now consisted of the hospital room where Natasha, and now Banner, had taken residence and the small snack bar down the hall where he could make himself coffee. Tony was no fool, he could tell that his science partner wasn't coping well. Even in sleep the man looked terrified, his fists gripping the blanket so tight that he could already see tears in the fabric. There had never been any doubt that Natasha had always been the steady one in their relationship, calming him with the lullaby, helping him hold on to the man inside of the monster. Now, as he sat browsing through his phone as the minutes ticked by, Stark could see that their roles were going to be seriously reversed when the assassin finally woke from sleep.

Stretching his back the muscles creaked in relief to move their position, luckily for him Steve was just coming in for the night shift as he didn't have trouble sleeping in the devil hospital chairs.

Nodding his head in greeting he pulled out his phone and typed as so not to wake the sleeping love birds.

'Any improvement?'

Swiping the phone from him Tony typed back, 'She's responsive and getting better. Banner finally fell asleep at about 5:00 this morning so I'm assuming he is also improving.' Rodgers smirked at that and took Tony's place in the armchair beside the bed.

'Have you recovered any evidence or any way that we can pin this chick down?' Steve frowned at this and instead of waiting forever for the old man to type out his reply Tony pulled him out into the hallway, leaving the door halfway open.

"So have you…"

"Just because I can't text well doesn't mean I can't read Stark."

Raising his hands in surrender Tony backed off, it had been a long week for all of them.

Steve collected himself, though a scowl still remained on his face as he answered, "There wasn't so much as a footprint matching the id we had on her. No sightings. Nothing suspicious within a hundred mile radius." He kicked the wall in front of him as a nurse walked by, maybe it helped because when he turned back around he looked slightly more relaxed. "Clint is still out looking, that guy has slept less than Banner."

Tony leaned against the wall and shoved his hands in his pockets. "You know that this isn't over." The silence of the hallway quickly became palpable after he spoke and for one of the few times in his life he wished he'd just kept his damn mouth shut.

"That shot was calculated. Enough to take Natasha down, not enough to kill her. Whatever they wanted they got it." Pausing Steve's scowl deepened, "I don't like not knowing why."

"On that bright note I'm going to head back, I put myself in your emergency contacts, if the Russian wakes call."

"Will do."

* * *

-Maria Hill-

To her great shock, Maria walked into her office to find the archer sitting on the window ledge twirling a knife in his hands. Shaking her head at the burst of adrenaline she got Maria walked over the window and unlatched it.

"What the hell Barton? You're going to scare someone to death!" His following silence didn't do anything to calm her nerves. Folding her arms over her chest Maria sat on the edge of her desk waiting for him to explain. "Well?"

Finally Clint sat down in one of the low chairs beside her. He tossed her the knife and she palmed it in her hands. It was a decorative piece, more for show than for practicality.

"Found that in southern Maine. Wiped clean and lying on the beach."

Not sure about how alert he was Maria opted for simply handing the weapon back. "And?"

Clint stared the knife down as though any second it would spill forth its secrets. Just before she could suggest that he go to bed he spoke, "I think this is the knife Belova cut Nat's shoulder with."

"And that made you decide to sit on my window ledge why?" His look of confusion answered her previous question of whether he should go to bed or not. Slapping her palms on her legs she tried her best to not sound condescending as she said, "Come on, I'll take you to your room. You need to get some sleep."

He gave her a weary look but didn't argue, letting her lead him back to his apartment.

On the elevator ride up she couldn't help but notice the obsessive way Clint continued to handle the knife.

"How about I take that to diagnostics?" She offered as a peace offering, "Maybe they can pick something up."

For a long while there was no response from Barton but right as the doors opened to his floor he handed it to her sullenly and made tracks for his room.

In one last ditch effort to get him to stop worrying Maria hollered after him, "No climbing out the window Hawkeye, you need to sleep if you are going to keep helping!"

Now as she rode the elevator back down, Maria found herself facing a slightly bigger issue. If Clint was right about this knife, it might not be such a good thing that it was back in their hands.

* * *

-The following afternoon, Bruce-

The voice he had been waiting for finally woke up, "Bruce?"

Immediately he was at her side and stroking her hair softly. "Natasha." He practically breathed her name in relief and she couldn't help but smile at his sweetness. "Hey you." She raised her hand to the side of his face and he melted into her touch.

"I thought I'd lost you." There was of course a surge of medical personnel in the room checking Natasha's vitals, asking her questions, and one rather rude nurse pushed Bruce out of the way to reach her arm. With reflexes that boggled his mind Bruce found himself back by Natasha's side and he could only hear the voice of Steve ordering people out and to leave her alone.

No tears were in his eyes but the intensity of his gaze pierced her heart and made her begin to sob.

"I'm so sorry Bruce." The words caught in her throat and she began to hiccup as the emotions began to spill out. He held her tightly to him and made soft soothing noises in her ear. Quickly she began to hyperventilate as the memories overtook her.

Of Yelena and of the Red Room. Of being cuffed to the bed every night. The day that she led Yelena through the graduation ceremony.

She felt Bruce wave someone away behind her back. Leaning back to see who she found a rather surprised looking Clint staring back, she merely turned her head back into the warm shoulder in front of her.

"They'll want to know what happened." Bruce murmured, cuing her that they were once again alone.

"I can't talk about it. Bruce please don't let them near me please!" He hoped that there wasn't fear in his eyes as he watched her fall into hysterics.

"Okay." Rubbing her back soothingly he let her fall apart against him. For once being able to be the strong one for her, even as he felt his own fear at the unknown well up in his throat

* * *

.

AN- This is only the first half of chapter 19, I split them up so that you wouldn't be left hanging any longer. I am stuck with what to do in something coming up so if you have any ideas I'd love to hear them!

-Anya


	20. Chapter 19 part II

AN- I feel evil. Like complete with the evil laughter and clap and everything.

* * *

Chapter 19 part II

-Past Natasha-

 _Bayu-bay..._ _Tired toys are sleeping, so are books._

 _Blankets and pillows are waiting for kids._

 _Even fairy tale goes to bed,_

 _So you could dream of it at night._

 _Close your eyes,_

 _Bayu-bay…_

" _Bayu-bay, Bayu-bay," the song was the only one the girls were ever allowed to sing. Unbeknownst to Madame, when Natalia would go out to take out the garbage she would take four seconds to simply listen for anyone whistling or humming on the other side of the fence. In secret she would tap the rhythms to herself and on occasion use the small melodies to trade for bread from the bigger girls._

 _Of course many of them had died now._

" _Natalia Alianovna."_

 _Putting the scrub brush on the floor she quickly walked to Madame Kudrin's office. The proud tall woman bent her head as Natalia knelt on the floor in front of her, kissing the bottom of her skirts._

" _Madame Kudrin." Her voice was steady and she congratulated herself inside her head for this small feat._

" _Get up off the floor child." Scrambling to her feet she felt the sharp sting of the cherry stick against her back. "Such prostrations are not for an initiate." Her eyes fell on the small girl sitting in the chair before Madame's great desk. She was skinny, her cheekbones showed how long it had been since she had eaten. Repeating the mantra "Bayu-bay, Bayu-bay.." Natalia kept her mask of indifference even though the adrenaline was beginning to seep through her veins. This is what she had been waiting for. All of the other girls her age had already been made initiates and left Natalia scrubbing floors and dancing in toed shoes._

 _Madame waved her hand to the plate of biscuits on her table, Natalia had to bite her cheek as the young girl fell upon them like a dog as soon as permission was given._

" _So hungry mockingbird." Natalia examined the girl after this information was given. Each of them had their own nickname. Some trait that Madame drew out to become their new persona. Madame had named her the little spider after watching her steal in the markets. Now she would have to find out what made this child a mockingbird._

" _This is your new sister novice, Natalia Romanova. She will see that you get what you need for your classes. It is lucky for you to have such a talented ballerina for your sister, I have great expectations for you mockingbird."_

 _As the girl continued to stuff herself, not noticing that neither Madame nor Natalia had yet to take a bite, Madame cleared her throat and smiled kindly at her. "Aren't you going to introduce yourself to your sister?"_

 _Mouth full of bread she swallowed thickly and Natalia remembered the burn of the course bread as it had once slid down her throat in this same room. Of course her sister novice had died three weeks later but that was of little consequence._

" _Well child?"_

 _Finally seeming to pick up that Madame was not someone to keep waiting she blurted out quickly, "Yelena. Yelena Belova."_

* * *

-Natasha-

Once they let Natasha out of the hospital she could only be found one of two places, her room, where Bruce had also taken up residence much to her relief, or the gym where she was currently trying to build her healing body back up to par. For ten days she was left alone exactly how she wanted, unfortunately, Cap didn't seem to get the message.

Bursting in on her running Steve threw down his towel and stormed up to her, if he had been a cat the hairs on his head would have been standing on end.

"Fight me." When she didn't move he grabbed her and physically drug her to the mat in the middle of the room.

"Fight me." He demanded again throwing a sloppy punch at her shoulder which she let land. Giving her an incredulous look he stood up straight, "Or you can tell me what hap…" The words never left his mouth as Nat roundhouse kicked him in the jaw, bringing the super soldier to the ground. Straddling his chest Natasha stroked his face with her hands cooing at him and batting her eyelashes.

"You're too clever for me Steve, I never stood a chance." Just to make sure he wouldn't ever interrupt her again she pressed a kiss to his lips before leaving him lying in the middle of the gym.

* * *

 _-Past Natasha-_

 _The bed creaked beneath her small frame as she laid down. She was holding the ballet slippers close to her chest and her hands were tucked beneath her armpits._

 _Well that was the first thing that would have to change._

 _Remembering her first night in the school Natalia felt powerful as she echoed the words of what once was Eketerina Kirova "Give me your hands." She held the handcuffs behind her back, skillfully keeping them from clinking together. Yelena refused to look at her and rolled onto her stomach._

" _I am not going to make you get up, give me your hands." She knew Madame would praise her in the morning for her choice of words after she reviewed the cameras._

'Dancing around the truth…'

 _Yelena rolled over and met the older girl's gaze with fear, Natalia looked for mistrust but the child had not yet learned to be wary._

'spinning you inside my lies…'

 _She set her shoes on the floor beside her letting a tear go as she leaned down, but Natalia saw the slight shift in her breathing as it spilled._

'and just when you think I've sheltered you inside my home…'

 _Placing her hands in hers Natalia could feel the smooth skin of a life without work. The sallow cheeks now told her the story of a girl who was simply too spoiled at one point to learn how to succeed outside of the Red Room. Natalia patted the back of her hand and before Yelena's smile could reach her eyes the handcuffs closed around her wrists._

 _She protested and yelled at Natalia to stop playing games, trying to swing her feet around to kick at her._

'Just when you think I've sheltered you inside my home you realize that you are truly stuck in my web…'

 _Natalia bowed her head toward Yelena and left the room of young girls. Now that she had moved up she would receive a room of her own. Madame ushered her down the stairs and led her into a back room with only a small wash stand and a bed shoved against the wall._

'And it's supper time.' _The metal closed around her own wrists with a familiar click. Madame leaned down and kissed her brow._

" _You're going to catch a little bird in your web Natalia." Her fingers touched Natalia's hair and caressed it matronly. "Before you spin that thread, make sure that the bird isn't hungry too."_

* * *

-Clint-

They all knew something was very, very wrong with Natasha. Usually she was the first one to their team breakfasts, and she didn't show up for weeks in a row. When Laura called him she informed him that Nat hadn't been answering her texts or calls and even Lila's letter get-well answer had gone unanswered.

As the weeks continued, things only grew worse, she rarely left her room and would only allow Bruce to enter. Her breakdown was wreaking its toll on the doctor as well, his beard was grown in and getting wild. When Clint would see him he would ask how things were going with Nat, the responses varied to each extreme from "I think that she needs help," to "She seems to be back to normal."

It wasn't until their movie night that things seemed to hit the fan.

The night was a special occasion as they were finally watching the final installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

Everyone was fairly on edge, this was the first night that Bruce was gone since Natasha had been released from the hospital. He had gone to South Korea on emergency notice to help with a situation at Helen Cho's lab.

It started when Pepper and Tony brought up their idea that they might try to have a baby.

Naturally the others were rather interested and excited at the prospect and Clint could see the physical effect it was having on Natasha. As they began teasing Tony about dad issues and talking to Pepper about name choices Natasha grew smaller and smaller in her chair until she was sitting with her arms wrapped around her knees and her head resting on the top of them.

Tony drank from his wine glass and laughed at something Thor had said, "I'm most worried about not knowing what to do. I wish that there was like, a 'I'm considering parenthood' mentor that I could just learn everything from."

"Just someone who has experience with the whole craze of parenthood," Jane nodded in agreement.

"So Nick?" Mara smirked and raised her glass to the director as he shook his head at their antics.

She was still the best damn spy in the business because Clint almost missed Natasha slipping out the doors.

As she walked out of the room Clint pulled out his phone and dialed Banner's number. The line only ran twice before he answered.

"What happened?"

"I think you need to get back here, now."

The doctor repeated himself, "What happened?"

Chewing his lip in worry Clint responded, "I think Stark inadvertently found Tasha's trigger point."

"Which was?"

"Something about a 'mentor.'"

* * *

-Bruce-

She was waiting for him when he arrived back home. Shifting his aching shoulders, he flinched and was grateful her back was turned so she could not read into his movements.

The sleeves of the sweatshirt were rolled up four times to allow her use of her hands. Bruce decided he would be giving Natasha all of his clothes for they looked far better on her body than his, not to mention seeing her toned legs beneath the bottom of the shirt was irresistible.

"I've missed you Natasha." His smile fell as she continued to face away from him. "Natasha?"

Not a muscle moved in her body. There was not even the slightest inclination that she had heard him enter.

"We need to leave."

That wasn't exactly comforting.

Stepping toward her Bruce put out his hands as one would when approaching a cornered animal.

"Nat…"

"They'll never stop." Whirling around there was a wildness in her eyes, a fear that was primal, a fear that Bruce knew very, very well.

"They'll never stop." She repeated quieter running her hands over her arms nervously and she began to pace agitatedly in the small space she occupied.

"Natasha." The way he said her name seemed to get through to her.

"Natasha." She echoed turning and meeting his face with wide eyes.

So maybe he hadn't really gotten through to her.

"Natasha…" Now he was getting even more panicked as she continued to mutter her name. "Natasha, Natasha, Natasha, Natasha."

Kneeling down on the floor a good five feet from her agitated self, Bruce waited for the madness to abate.

"Bird. Natasha, Natasha. Protect the bird. Natasha. Teach the bird, Natasha. Natasha, Kill the bird. Natasha, The bird will kill you. Natasha…"

Eventually the moment ended and Natasha, his Natasha stopped the rambling and came over towards him. She knelt in front of him like a mirror image and they stayed that way for a few minutes, letting them both come back into themselves.

"She called me Natalia."

Bruce nodded, not knowing why that was so particularly important.

Not letting their gaze break Natasha placed her hands on his forearms, holding them in her hands firmly. Nodding her head she breathed deeply and in a clear voice stated, "I'm ready to talk to them."

Turning his arms so that his hands held her forearms as well Bruce pulled her to her feet but as they turned to leave she dug her nails into his skin fiercely.

"But…." Letting go of him with one hand she brought it up to his face and smoothed his cheek stubble. "You have to stay with me."

"Always."

* * *

-Not long after, Natasha-

"Okay," there seemed to be a static in the room, as though time had left them, "Who is Yelena Belova?" Steve's posture was enough to tell her that there was no flirting her way out of explaining this one.

"She," Natasha swallowed thickly, pursing her lips and trying to form the words to explain. "We were trained together… Raised," amending her statement quickly, "together. She was somewhat younger than me, but… she was good. We…." Maybe clearing her throat would help, she tried but it only seemed to stick any further words somewhere deep down in her lungs. "We…" her voice cracked, her knuckles were white from clenching her fists in her lap.

* * *

-Bruce-

Her eyes were moving rapidly without ever seeing the room around her. They never landed on anyone in the room and they were about to make him dizzy with how quickly they were flashing from place to place. When she started and stopped again, not making it past the word 'she' he walked up to her slowly and knelt before her tense body. Giving her plenty of time to pull away he placed his hands on her knees firmly. Not to hold her there, but to let her know that she was not alone.

At his touch her voice steadied and she looked at no one but him. "Yelena and I were raised together in the Red Room. There were others but Yelena is the only other graduate to have survived the fall of the Soviet Union. She was there helping me make it happen actually." Wetting her lips she leaned into him, "Afterwards we both became mercenaries and got the name 'Black Widow' on radar in a bad way. The misconception held by SHIELD is that I am the only Black Widow. I don't know why Yelena has been kept so hushed up all of these years, I assumed for a while that she was dead. When Clint came after me and took me back to SHIELD, the Winter Soldier apparently was going after Yelena and taking her back to HYDRA."

Steve moved around some of the photographs laid out of Yelena's latest assassinations. "What is her normal MO for this sort of work?"

There was something definitely going on in Natasha's brain because her next move was to push Bruce onto the floor and crawl into his lap. Surprise prevented him from reacting in the way she most likely wanted him to so she made do by moving his arms for him and wrapping them around her waist as she molded her back to his chest. From this position he could feel just how fast her heart was beating and he could see the slight perspiration forming on her neck. He couldn't help but be slightly amused when she played with his fingers for the remainder of the meeting.

"The first thing you need to realize about Yelena is that she is creative, but she is not original. All of her moves are ones that she has either seen, been a victim of, or been taught. This means that many of her kills will look like that of someone else." Clearly not satisfied with Bruce's catching on to what she wanted Natasha then moved his legs to wrap around her own as well. "When we used to double team she picked up on my trademark of leaving traces of black widow spider venom in the corpses."

"Why was that your trademark?" Tony questioned skeptically.

She shrugged in response. "It inspired fear."

When she moved her hands over his forearms he could feel the almost imperceptible tremors. Whether the team was satisfied or not, that had been enough.

Pulling her around in his arms he lifted her bridal style and without acknowledging the protests and questions from the others, he took her back to her room.

"Thank you Bruce." After a few moments, "You make me feel strong." She whispered against his neck and she kissed the skin there.

Bruce shifted her in his arms and replied, "You are the strongest person I know."

She was asleep against his shoulder before he even reached the elevator.

* * *

-Yelena-

"She is afraid, General."

He scratched his beard and nodded in favor at her assessment. "Yes child, your sister is keeping different company these days." He scooped up another fistful of almonds in his hand and chewed one absentmindedly. "She keeps her emotions on her sleeve now, this will make your next attack easier. I am thinking you will go again in the night after tomorrow. Mess with their minds dear one." His fingers trailed through her hair, wiping the oils from the nuts away. That kind of touch was familiar at least.

"That will not be necess…." A fist contacted with her throat bringing her to her knees, keening for breath.

"Never advise me on what is necessary child." His honeyed voice triggered her gag reflex and she heard him turn away as the bile splattered onto the floor.

After her coughing subsided he was lounging on a chaise watching her.

"Maybe the little bird is correct." Picking at his ear disdainfully Yelena felt her hatred rise but quelled it faster than it had appeared, she needed him if she was to follow instructions. "All right, why is it unnecessary?"

Her lips twitched up in glee, the feeling of power gave her an adrenaline boost and enough fortitude to last with the General a few more weeks.

"Because General Ross," Yelena simpered, "Natalia will come to me."

* * *

AN- Review please!


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